Dear Erin, August 2010
Right now, you are trying to decide when to wean Trevor from breastfeeding, so you can try to get pregnant with your second baby. You hoped it would happen on its own, but considering your infertility past as well as full time nursing, you know it wasn't likely. You'll find out that you have to switch clinic and will jump through a few hurdles before you can move forward. This will work in your favor, as it gives you more time nursing Trevor. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, November 2010
Every test came back normal and you are ready to move forward. Trevor took one IVF cycle and you have nearly perfect embryos from the same cycle. This has to work! Starting your cycle on Trevor's birthday gives you major hope that this is it. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, Christmas 2010
I'm sorry that it didn't work. You've never known this feeling before. And it sucks. Pick up the pieces and move forward. You can and will succeed. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, February 2011
This will be the hardest month of your entire life. You will feel the greatest joy as you surprise your family with your news of being pregnant. Sadly, your world will come crashing down and you will miscarry. You will sit in limbo for weeks, trying to understand what is going on inside your body. Your four embryos you started with are gone. Every glimmer of hope will be gone. You cling to Tom and Trevor and somehow embark on a full IVF cycle. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, April 2011
You are optimistic about this IVF cycle. You have good odds. You will retrieve more eggs that with Trevor, have more embryos and get a phenomenal report from Dr. M, stating it was one of the best cycles of his career. You're shocked and excited. Until the tests don't come up positive. The day before your beta, you will see the P word and feel relief. It lasts hours, and is diagnosed a chemical pregnancy. You are left wondering, how could this be? You look into Trevor's eyes and know you have to trek on..and you will. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, June 2011
This is a good month. You secretly do another FET and feel pregnant instantly. On June 23rd, you see positive tests and know this is the baby you will hold in your arms. You fear the worst, due to the past few months, but there is no need. It will be okay, I promise.
Dear Erin, August 2011
I told you it was going to be okay.
I wish I knew how long and difficult our ride to this baby was going to be. After Trevor, I was sure it would be easier. After all, how could it be harder? I was proven wrong and am still in disbelief of what our family went through in less than a year.
I often think about the first time I will hold this baby and it takes everything in me to stop myself from sobbing. Its still not real. Every time I hold the doppler to my abdomen, I am a little surprised to hear the thump, thump, thump. I stare at my changing body and cant quite picture the person whos causing it.
I am excited to have another birth story, to pick a name, to breastfeed the babe. But when I hold our second little miracle..stare at someone who saved me from heartache, snuggle this baby on my chest..on the outside instead of only in my heart..I know I wont be able to hold back.
And yes, if I could somehow get an email sharing what hurdles we will have to jump to get to baby #3, ahead of time, that would be great. :)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Dear Erin, August 2010
He picks up the lyrics to songs in an instant and sings along. We have the Carole Peterson and Laurie Berkner CDs in the car and he requests his favorite songs.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
How far along? 13 Weeks!!
Total weight gain/loss: Even
Maternity clothes? Not yet
Sleep: Still tired all the time..and usually not sleeping well at night
Best moment this week: great report at the OB appointment
Movement: I felt Trevor starting at 15 weeks..I am so anxious to feel this baby!
Food cravings: Cold drinks, chocolate
Gender: Today, I say boy
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Nothing!
What I am looking forward to: Movement, gender reveal
Weekly Wisdom: A heartbeat monitor can make a bad day much better :)
Milestones: Out of 1st trimester!!!
I went to the OB on Friday and the appointment went great! I met the 2nd of 4 doctors and he was very nice. He reviewed my chart, asked a few questions and asked if I had any. I have been dizzy throughout the day and he said its due to the extra progesterone while pregnant. He said my uterus was measuring on track and babys heartbeat was 146 bpm. I think I have a UTI, so I gave my urine and they will let me know on Monday. I made my next OB appointment for the end of September and went ahead and scheduled our 20 week ultrasound too. Its set for October 18!
I want to know the sex of the baby before we go to California on the 10th. That way, I can shop! Tom and I will go do a gender scan at a local boutique on October 3rd and keep it to ourselves for a few days. October 9th, Tom is running the marathon. Afterward, we will gather our family and friends for dinner and reveal it then. Im not sure how exactly..perhaps a pink or blue cake..or two balloons and pop the one that is wrong? Any suggestions are welcome!
I was feeling confident the baby is a girl until the past few days. I have been brainstorming names and boys names are tough! I adore Trevor Michael and dont know how we will find one that is as perfect. I keep joking that the baby will be Trevor #2. Or Trevorina if its a girl. ;)
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
HUGE NEWS! Trevor used the potty tonight! We have been sitting him on the turtle seat for months and nothing has ever happened. Tonight, he came up and said poop, Mama. I sat him down and sure enough, he pooped and peed! We rewarded him with a frosted animal cracker(as we were out of M&M's) and put underwear on him for a while afterward. I hope its a step in the right direction. Id really like to only have one child in diapers come February. :)
I think I have decided on what to do for Trevors birthday. I need to make a guest list, call around for pricing and then I will be set.