Wednesday, June 29, 2011

BFP Details

Thank you so much for all of the congrats! I only gave numbers on my last few posts and I want to add details so I can tell the baby one day.

Like I said, I rushed home Wednesday night, chatted with Tom a bit and snuck into the bathroom. Pregnant came up again and I walked out to the living room and said, "I feel like a broken record, but the test says pregnant." We hugged and kissed and that was it. I went to get a pedicure and soaked in the result.

My blood test was Friday morning and I was so nervous. We had a busy day planned and I was distracted. The nurse called around 1 and I missed it! I held the phone up to my ear and couldn't believe she said she had good news! I returned the call to find out my number was 140, higher than it has ever been at that point. I was sooo happy!

Monday came around and I had my blood taken at 6:30, before work. That wait was unbearable. I was scared they would call and tell me it went down and it was over already. Once noon came around, I started to really stress. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking. Finally, at 2pm, she called and spit out my number-508! I was blown away. I would have been content with something in the 300 range. It was instant relief and joy. I did ask if she thought there are two babies and of course she said we wont know until the ultrasound. Its already scheduled for next Tuesday, the 5th at 6:30am. They usually do OB ultrasounds between 11am and 1pm and theres no way I could swing that. Luckily, the receptionist is filling in that day and offered to do mine early. Tom will be working, so itll just be me and Trev going. She said I will have 3 ultrasounds, about a week apart. After next weeks ultrasound, Ill schedule the others for Fridays so Tom can come too. I have a gut feeling its twins. I have been falling asleep thinking of them and fantasizing about twins since before the positive. We will see..

I still cant get over how good it feels to be normal. I saw pregnant on the test, had a great first beta and an exceptional second beta. No need for a third. I just continue on my meds and enjoy every second. Unbelievable!

There is no reason to worry things will go wrong. So I am not. I am soaking in this feeling and counting the seconds until that ultrasound. Conveniently, it falls right after a long, holiday weekend that i know will FLY by!

Oh yes, Evan is pregnant too. :) She found out the day after me and had a great beta yesterday. HOW DO WE KEEP DOING THIS!? I am due March 2nd, she is due March 3rd. Crazy! Trev and I are visiting them in August and I cant wait to rub bellies with her.

Lastly, my sister is due in 10 days and I cant wait to hold that little angel. I get really emotional when I think about it. I love my niece and nephews like they are my own children, but this little girl is extra special. She is the completion to their family. She is a strong little miracle after 2 miscarriages and a lot of pain. Hurry up, sweetheart!

..Dont even get me started on what it'll be like to hold this baby in my arms..

I took this while at Lake Geneva last weekend. I LOVE IT! And I cant wait to see a few more children in the lineup. :)

Monday, June 27, 2011

Three Little Numbers


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Huge Hurdle

We had a great weekend, but now the nerves are kicking in. Tomorrow is BIG. We have to jump a hurdle I have never jumped. Even with Trevor's picture perfect pregnancy, I did not have normal doubling betas. With the miscarriage, I had an okay beta followed by a decreasing one. But, I need tomorrow to be different. That number HAS to be more than double. It'll be roughly 70 hours from my beta on Friday. I am hoping for a number much higher than needed. Then, I can sit back and relax until an ultrasound next week.

The good news is, I feel pregnant. Ive been nauseous and haven't had an appetite. Although, the nausea is worse if I'm starving, so I have to eat little bits. Ive had pretty consistent cramping and pressure. My boobs are sore. I wake up feeling exhausted. All good things. :)

I already taught Trevor where the baby is. He points to my belly(sometimes closer to my boobs, haha) and kisses it. Melts my heart.

I'm walking a fine line between wanting to shout our joy from the rooftops and thinking this could end at any second. As long as tomorrows report is exceptional, I will allow myself to breathe.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Beta Results


My beta today, at 8 days post my FET is 140!

What a great way to start the weekend. Repeat on Monday.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

3rd Time is the Charm

I know, I know. I promised I wouldn't test. But today, I knew. I knew I had to run home and take a test and see that word I desire. And there it is, again.

3rd pregnancy in 6 months. This is it. This is our rainbow baby.

Pretty good line for 6 days post, taken at night. Then again, we have a LONG way to go to be safe. If I could only find a way to lay flat until our NT scan...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


Tomorrow is 6 days post..the day I always test. Its the day I tested with Trevor and saw those beautiful lines next to each other. Its the day I tested with FET #1&2, along with my last IVF cycle. Tomorrow morning, I WILL NOT test. Ill admit, I'm a bit tempted. But I will not. I am terrified of the I will put off finding out my fate for another few days.

Focusing on something else, as I have all week, here are pics from my sisters baby "sprinkle" shower. As soon as she was finally pregnant with a healthy baby, I knew I would do this for her. I planned it for one week after the bridal shower I threw, so I was in shower overload for a while there. I cant even tell you how many trips I made to Party City that week..or how much money I spent at Sams Club! Thankfully, Jers great friend, Wendy, is a great cook and took care of a lot of the main food items.

I wanted the main dessert to be cupcake pops. Cake pops that are shaped like cupcakes(the theme of the sprinkle) and dipped in 2 colors. The instructions were so simple and I had every ingredient ready. Those darn things were almost the death of me! I couldn't get them to look like cupcakes, so I settled on making cake pops that were pink and brown(the colors of the sprinkle). I let my 40 balls sit overnight like directed and woke up cheerful and ready to get them dipped. Well, it was a disaster. They kept crumbling! I ended up with 14! I was so frustrated and crabby. Thankfully, we got everything set up in time and the shower was awesome! Oh yeah, and the cake pops were delicious! But, never again will I subject myself to that..

Me, the hostess, still pretty crabby

The best punch ever. Trevor was obsessed.

The sweet girls..and Trevor. :)

Mama and big brother, Tyler

Sissy with Brady and Laney

Maggie, my younger bros g/f, Sissy, Me and Nicole, my older brothers g/f!

Jeralyn with the kids

She got so many great gifts. Tons of clothes and bows, a lot of essentials, many things off her registry.

Toward the end of present giving. I forgot to get a pic of all I bought/made. I made that zebra blanket. I make one for each new baby in our fam. I bought her the picky sticky onesie numbers, 3 of the cutest bows Ive ever seen, a 1st bday cupcake shirt and bib(yes, a little early, but it matched SO perfectly!), that pink sign that says

Sister will you..

make believe

play dress up

let me be the princess

tell me stories in the dark

always be my friend?

She read it out loud and we both got choked up. I love my sister so much and cherish our friendship. And I love her kids like they are my own. I am so happy Delaney is getting her little sister. This new baby girl is beyond lucky to have her looking out for her.

Sam and I also paid for her to schedule a maternity photo shoot! She emailed the girl today and will be meeting with her soon!

She was so happy to get her stroller! That was the icing on the cake!

Speaking of cakes, I made this diaper cake! I am super proud of it and told her don't dare take it apart until she absolutely needs to use those diapers!

I am done throwing showers for a while. I just spoke with my best friend earlier today and it looks like their wedding will be Aug/Sept. I have some time to recuperate.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Its been 4 days?

I am 4 days post 5 day transfer. Friday, the day after the transfer, I had a significant amount of cramping. I was on the beach most of the day and it got to the point where I just wanted to go up to the cottage and lay on the couch. Then, Saturday, I had a teeny bit of spotting. I hope both of those are steps in the right direction!

Usually at this point, I am going crazy. Analyzing, doubting, fearing the worst. This time? I am calm, cool and collected. I cant exactly tell you why..I just am. I am fine with not testing until Friday. If this cycle ends in a negative, I will trek on.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention on here before. You know the story of me and Evan? How we have this amazing relationship and had IVF at the same time and then FETs and then miscarriages? Well, she transferred one little bambino on Friday, 25 hours after I did. In the past, we have been 8 days apart. This time HOURS. How cool is that? I want nothing more than to share a pregnancy with her. I lost on my life dream of sharing one with my sister. I think being pregnant with Evan would be a great way to make up for it. :)

Before I go, I wanted to share some pics of the bridal shower I threw a few weeks back. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out. There are only 2 bridesmaids and the other one is non-existant in planning and had her own shower that it was all up to me. I went with a picnic/lemon/daisy theme I found on a website. We hosted in my sisters big backyard. It was great weather and tons of fun.

The favors were mason jars with lemon candy slices.

Burger cupcakes..since we had BBQ food.

Delaney, the prettiest flower girl, showing off her watermelon dress.

Me and the beautiful bride.

Love Trevor in the background of this one...

Trevor with Brian and Sam. They adore him and will make the best parents!

I ordered Trevor's outfit months ago..just for the party. He was a walking picnic blanket. :) I did his initials in navy so he can wear it again for the 4th of July!

Daddy came after work to enjoy the leftovers.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Great Transfer!

Last night, the nerves really kicked in. I ran errands and packed to make my life easier today. I tried to keep my mind occupied but couldn't help but let fear creep back in. I actually slept great last night and was ready to get our babies home!

I dropped Trev at my Moms, who thought I was working a half day, and was off. It should have taken me 35 minutes to get to the took me an hour and 20. I was about 15 minutes late. My blood pressure was a bit high. I was checked in quickly, and suited up before I had a minute to think.

Doc came in and said our 2 embryos thawed beautifully and we still have 6 on ice. Woo hoo! That continues our 100% fertilization and 100% thaw rates. The transfer was super smooth and my bladder was very full. Being wheeled out, Doc said he wont sleep until we make this happen. Neither will I, neither will I.

I sat for the 30 minutes, reading my US Weekly. I was so happy to use the bathroom and was on my way back to the suburbs. I stopped for Dunkin Donuts and picked up Trev.

He fell asleep in the car and I just transferred him to his bed. I was able to relax on the couch for almost 2 hours and now I'm just getting a few items ready to go.

So, 2 perfect embryos are in my uterus. And were headed to Wisconsin to celebrate Fathers Day. Its a wonderful day. :)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

FET Timeline

Here's a timeline of the past weeks:

May 9-The nurse calls with the beta being zero. I talked with her for a bit about meeting with Dr. M to discuss moving forward. I didn't want to rush into a FET cycle without speaking with him. I felt like there should be some test we didn't do to find out why this is happening. That being said, I knew it would be tough to meet him before my period came if we did want to go forward right away. Add that to us only being able to meet late evening or on Fri/Sat when Tom is off, I was sure we would be waiting. I was shocked to find out he had a cancellation the following day for 6:30pm. Perfect! We would have to miss Trevor's swim class, but were excited to get some answers so soon.

May 10-Meet with Dr. M. He said everything was perfect and he still says it was one of the best cycles ever, yet it didn't work. He kept comparing it to a slot machine. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I wanted him to change something for next time and he said theres no reason to. I asked what other testing we could do and he said none. There is an option for recurrent miscarriage testing but its out of pocket and unnecessary, according to him. He said even with my past, there is no greater risk of me having another miscarriage if a future cycle works. We asked about taking time off and he said there is no research that shows that helps anything, other than your mental state, of course. We ended up with 8 beautiful embryos frozen, all in single vials. We left feeling blank. We got no answers to why this has been happening other than its bad luck.

May 11-Tom and I talk and talk and talk. What should we do? He tells me its whatever I want, its my body that's been through everything the past 6 months. We end up making a little plan, short term and long. More on that later.

May 12-After 2 days of spotting, full flow period. CD1 for FET #3. Start birth control pills.

May 13-May 16-Have major issues with filling my Lupron script. There is a national backorder and I spoke with 5 different pharmacies, the nurse at least 4 times, the insurance company, etc. Turns out, there was NO Lupron anywhere so the nurse told me they could give me the one and only 2 week kit they had at the office and I could replace it when Lupron becomes available again. Phew! Tommy had to drive to the office after work to get me more BC and the Lupron. I did my first injection that evening. I also ordered all of my other meds.

May 25-Last BC pill, wait for period.

May 29-Full flow, CD1

June 1-Blood and ultrasound, start estrace, lower lupron to 5 units

June 6-Up to 2 estrace/day

June 8-Blood and ultrasound, much to my shock, my lining is already 7.98 and triple stripe! They move me up an entire week and schedule my FET for June 16th. Hope creeps back..along with fear. All along, I wanted something different with this cycle. My body took care of that and made it a much shorter cycle. I hope that makes a world of difference!

June 10-Up to 6 estrace/day

June 11-Last lupron shot

June 12-Start endometrin/PIO and lower estrace to 4/day..stay on this until pregnancy test.

That brings me to today. Less than 48 hours until transfer time. I am going alone to the transfer, for the first time. I plan to splurge and buy a few magazines and keep my mind off things. I also plan to have the fullest bladder ever. We have kept this a secret from no family knows. My Mom thinks shes keeping Trev for me to work a half day. I am self-prescribing bedrest this time around. After Tom gets off, we will head to the cottage for the weekend. Nothing is more relaxing than that!

Blood test is scheduled for Friday, June 24th at 8am. I WILL NOT be testing this time, until beta day. I'm not just saying that..I really wont. Not after my past cycles..

I think that brings you up to speed. Thank you so much for cheering me on and understanding why I needed to take a step back. I appreciate the love and support.

Next up? Our short and long term plans for getting our healthy baby in a womb.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Confession Time

Well, the three of us have been keeping a little secret..

Since our last IVF cycle, Mama has been taking meds to do a FET cycle. Time flew by and I go in on Thursday to transfer! Ill post details tomorrow. :)