Toms Birthday

Tom celebrated his GOLDEN birthday last week. He turned 24 on the 24th! Back on his 21st birthday, I had just turned 20. I wasn't able to have a big celebration with him due to the circumstances and I promised him that night that I would throw him a golden b-day party. You better believe I kept my promise!! We had about 25 friends over at my sister and brother-in-laws new house. It was a lot of fun! I also surprised him with new golf clubs!!

I ordered Tom a cake with a 3-D golf ball on it, labeled Taylor Made, which is the brand of clubs I bought him. Mid-party, I came downstairs singing Happy Birthday and presented him with the cake. I said, "Does this make you want to go golfing this Spring?" He responded YES! and I said, Hey, Scott..

Our friend Scott came downstairs with the big package wrapped in gold! He was very surprised and very excited. It felt so great to make Tom feel extra special. He is such an amazing man and he rarely does anything for himself. He would have used the same clubs until he is 50 if I didn't go buy them for him!

We went out to dinner as a family of 3 on his actual birthday. It was nice to celebrate Toms first birthday as a father. We stuffed ourselves, Trevor took in the surroundings and we came home for dessert.

Now, I need to plan Trevor's baptism. It is going to be March 14th. Invites are sent; I made them myself. The guest list is huge..but this baby boy deserves a party!! I'm doing it St. Patricks Day themed and loving all my ideas thus far. I have a lot left to do, but at least I am 2 weeks ahead in my homework!

Tomorrow is March 1st, which means I am starting to exercise again. I am forcing myself to go 3 times a week until we leave for Florida mid-April. Its not that I don't enjoy going, its just I would rather be hanging with my handsome men. I need to start taking care of myself and this is the first step. I want to look good for Florida.

Speaking of Florida, I cant freakin' wait. I think about it every day. Seven days of nothing but sunshine, smiles and Mickey Mouse! I know its weeks away, but I wanted to get some travel suggestions from you guys. Trevor will be 5 months when we travel. We are staying in a home and renting a car. I think Ill buy diapers and baby food there, rather than pack it. I'm not sure what car seat he will be in then. I'm hoping the infant one still, but if not, do I lug the Britax down or rent one? What stroller do I bring? I am contemplating bringing our travel system for the airport mainly and also bringing the Combi stroller for the parks. I know what a hassle it is to collapse the giant strollers for the shuttles. We would just push Laney around in the Combi in the airport and then leave whatever stroller were not using at the house. SO much to think about!

I love getting new clothes and wearing them for the first time on vacation. I bought a few things yesterday. One dress is adorable and I tried it on for Tom when we got home. What does he say? Wow, that is pretty and it will stretch nice when you have a belly again. Great minds think alike.

About that belly were missing so...our meeting is next Monday. I know everything is going to be based off when I want to stop BFing. I am nowhere near ready. Regardless, I am going to provide Trevor with milk until he is 1, whether its from breast or bottle. Ill have some major adjusting to do soon. I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Unforgettable Day

February 25, 2009..my life was changed. The burden I had been carrying for 25 months was nonexistent. My pain was gone. My body no longer ached. My dream came true. One tiny word changed it all. Pregnant. This little boy was baking inside me.

What a beautiful year it has been.

I'm not going to lie, I'm ready to see that word again. T-minus 11 days until our RE appointment! Until then, I will enjoy my sweet baby boy. Easiest thing I have ever done. :0)

Three Months

Trevor is three months now and can I just say..I LOVE THIS AGE! I miss him being tiny and all but this age is too much fun. He is so interactive and really showing his personality. See above. :)

I never want to forget a moment of this time, so Im going to write it all down..here!

*Trevor wears size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. He weighs about 17 lbs.

*He has a bedtime of 10 pm. He sleeps all night until a)I wake him in the morning for us to go to work, or b)about 9 am on the weekend. We didnt use any sort of sleep training or crazy schedule. It was just natural for us to fall into this routine. Its wonderful during the week too, because he will take a long morning nap since he didnt get his full nights rest.

*He takes many naps a day. Usually 2 longer ones and a few cat naps here and there.

*Trevor does not take a pacifier. Instead, he sucks on his entire fist. Usually its the left one, which I am hoping means he will be left handed.

*He has the most kissable cheeks and huge chunky thighs.

*He still loves bath time. Tom usually gives him a bath and sings to him and acts so darn silly.

*Trevor is super ticklish! Sometimes he lets out giggles, other times he just acts plain uncomfortable.

*Trev loves the dogs and little children. He is around both a ton, so this is no surprise.

*He often gets captivated with patterns. A jacket, his blanket, etc. You can tell he prefers certain patterns over others.

*Trevor nurses every 3 hours during the day. I love it, he loves it. Its absolutley wonderful.

*He shakes his fist when he is stretching and its the cutest thing. We sing a little song each time.

*Trevor has really found his voice the past month. He is extremely talkative, particulary in the evening.

*When he cries, he uses the "M" sound a lot so it really really sounds like he says Mama. Not on purpose, of course.

*We dont do tummy time nearly enough, so he doesnt care for it. What baby does?

*He loves..everything. His bouncer, his mobile, his exersaucer, etc. I can usually put him in one "activity spot" for 20-30 minutes and he is happy as can be.

*Trevor loves his tongue. He thinks of it as an accessory and is always licking or playing with it.

*His hair has grown a ton. It is cutest after he just got of of the bath and its soft and fuzzy.

*Trevor is a total TV junkie. He will find it if its on in the room and lock in. For that reason, we have it off a whole lot more nowadays.

*He bats and toys and I am proud each and every time.

He continues to be the love our our life and our greatest blessing. We love you, TMR!

PS-One year ago, today, Trevor was put back inside me. Right where he belonged. :0)

One Year

Valentines Day 2009. Instead of getting a dozen roses from Tom, I had a dozen eggs retrieved from my body and fertilized with my husbands sperm. That day, I couldn't think of anything more romantic.
Today, I stand corrected. Valentines Day 2010 I spent staring at my miracle child, soaking in every bit of his existence. A child who gets very excited in his bouncer..see below. :)

I am blown away by how much your life can change in a year. Thanks to modern medicine, Tom and I are the parents of one perfect little boy and have four babies on ice. I am blessed.

Body After Baby

Ive been having a really hard time coming to terms with being 23 years old and never being able to wear a bikini again. Really.Hard.Time.

Lets rewind, shall we? I have always been a thin girl, without ever trying. I was about 115-120 lbs through high school and never paid attention to a scale. I was still thin when I met Tom and didn't gain weight until the wonderful fertility treatments came along. 2 years of pain and sorrow mixed with hormone filled drug cocktails can do a number on you. I gained weight throughout the process and weighed 132 on the day of my egg retrieval.

Thank God our first IVF worked! That was the number I used for my "pre-pregnancy weight." I only gained twenty pounds while pregnant and Trevor ended up being over half of it. It was no surprise that I lost it all within a week and continued to decline to my current weight of 122.

Three months post baby. 122. I should be happy, right? WRONG.

You see, I used to look like this..

Goodbye, perky boobs

Goodbye, flat, flawless tummy

My body doesn't look anything like that now. My tummy has stretch marks. I made it all the way to the end and developed them the last week or two. They are around my belly button and I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini. My butt got a few little stretchies on it. They're tiny, but I despise them. My boobs. Eeek, they are just huge. I used to be a C, became a D while pregnant, and now am a DD/E. Many women would jump for joy at this, but I am not a fan. I feel like my head looks smaller..

All I keep thinking is, this isn't my body! My clothes are falling off me, yet I feel fat. Nothing fits right. I try on clothes everywhere I go and end up buying nothing.

How do you feel sexy when you cringe at your own naked body? How can Tom be attracted to me now, when I used to look so different? Where do you get new confidence?

Of course, I ask myself..was it worth it? YES, times a million. Id do it again and again. Deep down, I know these are battle wounds that lead me to this.

I guess I need to tell myself this IS my body and learn to accept it. And find some clothes that fit. What Not To Wear, help a new Mama out!!

Tax Deduction

Its Tuesday night and I want nothing more than to sit and blog and catch up on reading..BUT,



I have homework to do.
I have laundry to put away.
I have a diaper bag to pack.
I have a husband to cuddle.
I have dogs to pet.
I have a baby book to write in.
I have a 12 week old to feed.

Sigh..cant I just get paid to do this?

Speaking of getting paid..

Yeah, baby!

I bought this onesie over 2 years ago and had the idea for this picture ever since. It felt SO good to put Trevor in it!

Trevor is thinking..is that all I am to you? Hehe