"Hi Erin - I know this is going to seem very strange to receive an email (a very long, detailed one at that!) from someone you don't know. I have been reading your blog for about 18 months, I happened upon it one day from Elaine's "faithfulness through infertility" blog. I got pregnant with my daughter E right around the same time you got pregnant with Trevor, and I loved reading your experiences through your pregnancy since we were going through similar things at the same time. E was born a week before her due date on October 27, 2009 J. I've commented on your blog a few times, and I hesitated to contact you now, especially since I know your last post was that you're having a rough week (month?!)
So here comes the part where I sound crazy - please bear with me. I had my first miscarriage in 2006, before I had my first baby, and wound up "meeting" a group of girls on babycenter, eventually the core group wound up being about 30 women, we've long since left BBC and started a private group who have been together for nearly 4 years now. Except for the one girl, Nancy (whom I talk about below), all of them women I'm telling you about are from that board.
This might look like a forward, but it's not... but it's a long story!
Many years ago, my aunt's sister was married and went to Hawaii on their honeymoon (this was in the 1960's I think) and when they were there they bought this fertility "statue" that allegedly would bring fertility to its possessor. They thought it was a cute idea to pick up on their honeymoon so they bought one. It worked - and it started making the rounds through their family and friends until it got to the point that it was working TOO well and they finally had to hide it away in the attic of one of their aunts who was much older, well past childbearing age. It went dormant for like 25 years.
In 1999, I started working with this girl Nancy who was 10 years older than me and had been trying to get pregnant for a few years before I met her (which is now 12 years ago). She had cancer in her early 20's and they believe the treatment screwed up her reproductive system. My mom had told me about the statue and when I heard about it, I asked my aunt to try and find it so that I could lend it to my friend.
Nancy did finally get pregnant through IVF in 2003 and miscarried 2 days before my wedding L. So aside from the fact that she couldn't attend my wedding, I was devastated for her because I knew how much she wanted this and they had already been trying for like 5 years at that point!!
Fast forward to 2006, they had been looking for a long time and never found the statue because the aunt has long since passed away and the contents of her home were packed up and spread out to different relatives. They eventually found it and it was passed among some people in my aunt's family and finally they asked my mom if I still wanted it for my friend. This was at the beginning of November 2006. My mom mentioned it to me at my niece's birthday party - 2 days after I got my BFP with my son but I wasn't telling my family yet. My cousin's wife had it (by the way, her son Aiden was born on 7/6/07) and didn't "need" it anymore, so she was ready to pass it on. So I told my mom that I definitely wanted to send it to Nancy, and my mom said "but what are you going to do, it's very powerful and you are 'eligible...'" and I told my mom I'd wear rubber gloves or something so that I wouldn't be affected by it (my family didn't know about the m/c and never even knew we were trying. So basically my mom was fishing for info and that was not the answer she wanted!!)
Anyway I had been out of touch with Nancy for a while but I contacted her, she was then 41, and asked her if they were still trying to do IVF (it was now like 8+ years into TTC so I didn't know if they had stopped at that point). She said it was amazing timing because they had just switched insurance companies so the new company was going to let them do one round, which they were starting the process in January 2007, so I sent it to her. Needless to say, she got pregnant that round and had her son Joseph in December 2007.
When I got it back from her in August 2007, I asked my friend Sarah if she wanted it. She has PCOS and had already had a few miscarriages (all conceived by IUI) and several unsuccessful IUI’s. Her doctor was starting to lean towards doing IVF, and they had to take a month off before starting the meds for that. They were on the "break" the cycle that she got it, but she put it in her drawer as instructed... and got pregnant with her daughter that month (without meds).
When I got it back from her, I sent this same email to another girl from the board, Kellie, who had done a couple of rounds of IUI and were also about to move on to IVF. She got it in July and was pregnant in August (again, without medical intervention) with her son, who was born in May 2009.
At this point, the girls on my board had been together for more than 2 years, and some were still trying to get pregnant with their first baby following the miscarriages in 2006.
So, I got it back from Kelly in October 2008, and I then asked my friend Michelle if she wanted it, and she said yes - it arrived to her on the MORNING OF HER IUI. She got pregnant with triplets! I guess it worked 3 times as hard for her J and though she lost one in the first trimester, she now has her twin girls to show for it.
When Michelle sent it back, I sent it to Sarah again, whose daughter was then 10 months old and they were ready to start trying for their second baby. This time, she had just met with her RE and he told her that her ovaries looked terrible there was no way that she could get pregnant on her own this time. By the time she got it, she was already on like CD30 with no signs of O and was giving up on the cycle. She ovulated on CD35 and got pregnant with her second daughter, who was born December 28, 2009.
When I got it back from Sarah, I asked my friend Kara if she wanted it. She had her first son in 2008 as the result of IVF, but she’s 43 and her egg quality isn’t good, and they didn’t want to go through IVF again. So, they decided to just try to get pregnant on their own (her husband has issues as well) and I sent her the statue. At the same time, they put themselves on a list for donor embryos, but were told there was an 18-month wait. So, I sent it to her and they started trying on their own but didn’t conceive. But, they got a call that they had somehow been bumped to the top of the donor list – she’s now 16 weeks pregnant and finding out next week what they’re having. (Coincidentally, with her son, they had been told by three separate techs throughout her pregnancy that they were having a girl – they found out around 35 weeks that it was a boy!)
So now she’s sending the statue back to me. There isn’t anyone on our board who is actively TTC right now, and while we are thinking about starting to try for #3, I’ve never kept it for myself and don’t want to start now – I think it’s better karma to keep it moving . And surprisingly, I don’t have anyone “in real life” who is trying right now either (or at least, no one that I know of). So I was driving the other day, and suddenly it popped into my head that I should send it to “the girl from the peanut blog.” I’ve hesitated sending you this email because I know it sounds a little insane, plus I have two kids now (and E started crawling this week!) so I hardly get the time to sit down and type anything out like this! But, something made me want to contact you, so here it is. I’m actually a little overwhelmed just reading about all these pregnancies! Of course, it’s probably all just coincidence that all of those girls got pregnant after receiving the statue… but it’s a nice coincidence.
If you’d like me to send it to you, I’d be happy to. I’d just ask that you send it back when you’re done with it, which would hopefully be a wonderful surprise very soon! If not, that’s OK too – I just wanted to give you the opportunity since I know by reading your blog that baby #2 has been on your mind for a long time!
With warmest regards,
UNBELIEVABLE! I read it, picked my jaw up off the floor, called Tom over, he read it and joked it should have paused with a bathroom break in the middle, and we both had these goofy smiles on. HECK YES we wanted that statue! I emailed J back and told her please and thank you. In addition, she offered me her pricey CBEFertility Monitor. Days later, I got a package in the mail including the statue, monitor and a few pregnancy tests for good luck. (It was all wrapped in pink tissue, so I think its a sign we will have a girl next time!) We rubbed the statue on Trevor, gave it a kiss and put it in my underwear drawer as instructed. I'm anxious to use the monitor but have to wait until my next cycle begins. Cycle day 49 and counting! Ugh, I don't know why I thought Id have regular cycles after having a baby!
I cant get over the kind, generous, supportive women I have encountered with this silly blog. Thank you to each of you. Whether you comment every post, send sweet emails, have commented once, have prayed for us, have sent us something, etc. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank YOU, J for sharing your story and thinking of me. I hope to be passing this package on very soon. ;)