NICU Stay

The last post was about the facts of the labor and delivery. I didn't touch much on the emotional aspect. I have to say, I have never felt so proud of an accomplishment. That's what I feel 24 hours of labor was.. It was long and exhausting, but I can not wait to go through it again. and again. and again. :)

After our sweet Trevor was taken to the NICU, we had a bit of time before we could go see him. Tom gathered our stuff as I began to feel my lower half again. I was placed into a wheelchair and off we went.

We entered the NICU, and were taken to a corner and saw this:

Talk about breaking out hearts! It was so hard to see him with cords attached and an IV in his teeny hand. See his footprints above? Yep, they had to put them on the card sideways because his feet are so big! Anyway, we were able to hold him and I tried feeding him. He had no interest whatsoever. I was really worried his NICU stay would hurt his chances for breastfeeding.

The nurse let us watch as he had his first bath. All I kept thinking was..I should be giving him his first bath. I should be changing his diapers. I should be holding his without cords attached! I felt helpless.

Looking handsome and clean

We left the NICU and headed to our room. We kind of sat down and thought-Now what? We were on the Mother/Baby floor..with no baby. We made phone calls, returned messages, etc. I was running on pure adrenaline. Soon, the pain began. My tailbone was in excruciating pain. Every time I sat or moved positions, OUCH! I began pumping Wednesday afternoon and the lactation consultant was impressed with how much colostrum I was getting. We would go back and forth to the NICU as often as possible. We were not allowed in during the three shift changes for 30-45 minute increments. They told me to skip breastfeeding the rest of the day and try again tomorrow. Some family came in the evening. We were allowed two adults at a time, one being Tom or myself. Somehow, we managed to stay up the entire day and finally went to bed after midnight.

Thursday, we got up and slowly got ready to spend time with our baby. I was moving very slow. Finally around 9:30am, Tom wheeled me down to the NICU only to be turned away. Turns out, we were not allowed in while the Dr. did rounds, which was 8-11:30 am. We went back to our room like sad puppy dogs. We went in right at 11:30 with the lactation consultant and I nursed Trevor for the first time. He did a great job, I was beaming with pride. The nurse came by and told us that Trevor was doing wonderful and could be discharged the following day.

We went back to our room to eat and relax. Shortly after, we tried to return to the NICU and were told to give them 15 minutes. We figured it was another shift change and went back to our room. 20 minutes later, we tried again and they said come back. Tom asked the woman why they were turning us away and she said they were giving him a new IV and the Nurse would call us when she could. Tom could hear him screaming. We went back to our room and didn't talk at all. We couldn't figure out what went wrong in the short amount of time we were away. We felt sick to our stomaches not knowing what happened. FINALLY, an hour and a half later, a Nurse called. She said his IV in his hand fell out and they tried multiple times to get it back in. When that didn't work, they had to call a head nurse and she put one in his head. Sigh. We were sad he went through that, but so thankful it wasn't another issue. We were upset they didn't tell us that in the first place. We practically ran back to the NICU to see Trevor.

Friday we woke up and were SO excited to be leaving the hospital. We visited Trevor after the doctor did rounds and packed our bags. We met with a Nurse, who gave us minimal instructions on how to care for him. Thank goodness we know babies! My doctor came in and checked me out. She gave me a prescription for my tailbone and said if the pain persisted to get an x-ray. Around 2 pm, our miracle was released to us..no cords, no IVs, just a little baby we couldn't wait to cuddle!

I cant put into words how amazing it felt to get him out of the NICU. We felt pangs of guilt and sadness for the other babies that weren't being released that day. It made us that much more thankful for our little guy.

We arrived home around 3 and the fun really began..

Birth Story

Nearly two weeks have flown by..I think its time for the birth story.

First off, I must say the Monday before my induction was such a great day. I soaked up every last second of that big 'ol belly. All day I couldn't stop thinking things like-This is my last pregnant shower. This is my last time driving for a while. This is the last time I will feel his hiccups. I was on cloud nine knowing I would meet my long-awaited son the next day. Or so I thought..

After very little sleep on my end, Tom and I woke up and loaded the car. We were told to be at the hospital between 7:30 and 8 am. You better believe we arrived a bit before 7:30. We were so ready to get the party started! Tom and I passed the NICU on the way to Labor and Delivery. Tom said, "Well, at least we wont be spending time in there." I touched my belly and replied, "Yep, this boy is fully cooked." Oh, the irony..

We checked in and were taken right to our room. It happened to be the same room both Delaney and Tyler were born in. In fact, my first nurse was the nurse that helped deliver Tyler a year ago. Anyway, I got into my gown and was able to leave my bra on. I really don't like the feeling of not wearing one and luckily Nurse Lori said I could keep it on. Tom and I couldn't wipe the huge grins off our faces. I knew I had a long road ahead of me, but I was so ready.

Last belly shot-40W3D

The Soon-to-be Daddy

By 8:00 I was hooked up to the IV and external monitors. At 8:20, Nurse Lori began my pitocin at level 2. At 9:00 am, my doctor came in to check me. Unfortunately, I was still only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Much to my surprise, she broke my water at the same time. Because she broke my water, she placed an internal monitor on Trevor. That was taped to my leg until right before pushing. Nothing came out for a while and then it was gush after gush after gush. I had to hold a towel between my legs if I was anywhere but the bed. At 11:00 I had a popsicle, the only thing I ate during labor, and my pitocin was upped to 10. Each time the pitocin level was adjusted, it went up by 2. She did this roughly every 30-45 minutes. By 12:30, I could feel the contractions more and moved to the birthing ball. I believe this is when I realized I was having back labor. Tom would massage my lower back as hard as he could.

Toms mom and sisters came by to visit in early afternoon. We warned them it was going to be a long process, but they wanted to show their support. Plus, Stefi enjoyed being taken out of school early. :)

At 2:00 I was checked again and was horrified when she said I had no change. The Nurse said they were having trouble putting me into labor enough to change my cervix. When I was checked this time, they placed an internal contraction monitor next to his head, which was supposed to help get the level of pitocin right. That was painful. At 2:30, my pitocin level was 22. I did not enjoy going to the bathroom attached to an IV, two internal monitors and while leaking fluids.

I was feeling much stronger contractions after they put the pitocin level up. Until this point, I was very good at switching positions. I used the birthing ball, rocking chair, layed on both sides in the bed, etc. When the contractions became stronger, the only comfortable position for me was to stand, lean forward on the back of a chair and rock back and forth. Tom would massage my back and we tried rotating hot and cold on it.

At 4:00, the internal contraction monitor fell out and I was dreading them putting it back in. Thankfully, Nurse Lori said they finally got the pitocin right and we could use the external monitor again. Yay! My highest level of pitocin was 26-which is extremely high! They checked me at 6pm and I was a whopping 2cm dilated and 80% effaced.

My mom and sister were in the room in the late afternoon/early evening and I didn't mind it. In fact, I wasn't an irritable woman in labor. We brought a Friends season to play and watched that all day. I was never bothered by people talking or Tom eating. In fact, I was smitten by Tom the whole time. He was the greatest coach and so supportive. I never wanted him to leave my side.

Getting back on track..after standing for hours and hours and realized how tired and achy my body was, I assessed the situation. The bottom line was, I knew I had many hours of labor ahead of me and if I didn't get some rest soon, I wasn't going to be able to push him out. I did not want to end up with a C-section after all we had been through. So, I decided to get an epidural.

Belly with no fluid..so tiny!

The epidural was placed at 7:30 pm. I didnt think it was painful at all. I did, however, find it obnoxious to have another cord attached to me. I felt relief pretty quickly and it definitely sped things up. I was checked at 8pm and was 3.5 cm's dilated and a catheter was placed. My contractions were 2.5-3 minutes apart. Our families went home and we were told to call them when I was 9 cm's. We tried to get some rest, but it was nearly impossible.

I did my best to move while immobile from the belly down. I rolled from side to side every 30 minutes. When I say rolled..I really mean I would try to help Tom move me. It was so hard to get comfortable while attached to so much. I was checked again at 10:00pm and was 4cm's. Nurse Lori went home at 11pm and we got our night nurse. So much for our 11-10-09 baby!

I was checked at 2am and was 6.5 cm's and was told his head really moved down. We slept in little 20 minute increments, between the nurse coming in to take my blood pressure, temperature, etc. Somewhere around this time is when it happened..pressure. Oh, the pressure. I'm not sure which part of labor was more intense; the back labor before the epidural or the pressure that came later. Regardless, it was beyond painful. Turns out, Trevor was turned funny and putting all his weight on my back/tailbone. Even an epidural cant help that.

At 4:15, I was 8-9cm dilated. Unfortunately, we found out I had a fever of 100.6. No wonder I finally slept for 40 minutes straight! The nurse left to let the doctor know and to get me antibiotics. Shortly after she did that, I started to feel ill. I had a headache and just felt crappy. Trevor was hanging on strong this entire time, never showing a single issue.

My mom and sister came quickly and hung in the room with us. I was in such intense pain, all I could do was close my eyes and try not to watch the clock. At 5:45, I was 9.5 cm dilated and almost 100% effaced. She said I had a little bit of cervix I needed to get rid of before I could start pushing. My body did not agree with that and I had to fight the urge to push. Out of nowhere, I felt nauseous and told Tom I was going to puke. Sure enough, 2 seconds later, I vomited in 3 basins. So much for re-applying my makeup before I met my son..

From 6-7:30am, I was checked numerous times and kept being told "just a little bit longer." 7am is the shift change, so I was given another nurse and another doctor from my practice. Thankfully, it was my other fave doc! The new nurse was great. She was reassuring, letting me know that he was so low and I wouldn't have to push for long. FINALLY, at 7:40 am, we kicked everyone out and I started pushing. Pushing was a total out of body experience and by far the best part of the labor. There were no stirrups, no counting. I held my legs, Tom held one and the nurse held the other. I pushed as long as I wanted. It was wonderful. I did one set with the nurse and could immediately feel his head. I pushed for about six sets and at 8:18 am, Trevor Michael was welcomed into the world.

Much to our shock, Trevor did not cry immediately and had to be taken to the incubator, rather than placed on my chest. I did not cry when I saw him. I was in complete survival mode-I wanted to know what was wrong with my baby. Tom was very emotional, it was the sweetest thing. I kept my eyes locked on Trev as she delivered the placenta and stitched me up. One stitch, that is.

They checked Trevor out and said they wanted to give him a 48 hour antibiotic in the NICU because of my fever and his very low grade fever. There was talk of a chest x-ray and other tests that needed to be done. They wrapped him up and said we could have 30 minutes with him before he was taken. Tom and I loved on our boy for about 10 minutes before our Moms and sisters came in, not knowing there was anything wrong. He was whisked away far too quickly and we were told to relax and we could go to the NICU soon..

I'm going to cut this off here, because you know that Trevor is now 100% healthy. I will post about our NICU stay soon!

One Week

Trevor Michael-Happy One Week Birthday, Buggy! Somehow, it is hard to remember life before you. Your first week started out rough. It broke Mama and Daddy's hearts to not be able to give you your first bath, change your diaper and snuggle you for hours. You needed a little extra care from the doctors before we were able to do that! When they released you to us, it was the best feeling ever. Finally, we were responsible for your precious life. A life that has been wonderful since leaving the hospital last week.

You surpassed all my expectations and are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. You look exactly like your Daddy! Although, you were blessed with Mamas lips. You have long fingers and huge feet. They had to put your footprints sideways on the card they were so big! You have blue eyes and I believe they will stay that way. Your skin is flawless and has been since the moment you were born.

Trevor, you are the sweetest boy. You only cry when you need something. Even then, your cry is soft. You love being touched and cuddled. You also love hearing our voices. You follow them with your eyes and your head. One of your fave past times is sleeping with Daddy. I'm pretty sure its his favorite, too.

Daddy and I both love you so incredibly much. Thank you for coming into our life and completing our puzzle.

Mama

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Here are pictures of me one week post delivery. I have one pound to lose before I am at pre-pregnancy weight. Then, I have to work on IVF weight and will hopefully reach my goal weight! I look very tired. Blame the baby. :)

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A birth story, NICU re-cap and other posts are coming. I am having a hard time finding sufficient time to sit down and write about my greatest accomplishment..

Someone

I apologize for not updating sooner. Please know how much we appreciated your prayers and words of encouragement. I promise, there has been a good reason for my tardiness.

Someone was released from the NICU on Friday. Someone is home where he belongs.

Someone has stolen our hearts and we don't ever want them back.

Introducing..

Trevor Michael Robertson was born at 8:18 am this morning, the 11th November. He weighed 8 lb. 12 oz and is 22 inches long. He needs to spend his first few days in the NICU, as complications came up. I will update when I know more.

"Before you were conceived, I wanted you
Before you were born, I loved you
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you
This is the miracle of love."

Labor

Just wanted to give a quick update. Its 10:15 pm and I am dilated to 4 cm. I was given the fun experience of the one thing I did not anticipate..back labor. I took an epidural a bit ago. My fear was the I would labor for so long and be too exhausted to push him out, which would result in a c-section. So, I gave in and am content with it. I have been feeling pretty good ever since. I'm going to try and get some sleep in the next few hours.

Thanks for all your support and prayers. I will update as soon as stubborn boy makes his debut!

Birthday Eve

My miracle baby boy-

I am sitting here on the eve of your birth, trying to find words to express my love for you. Tomorrow, you and I will become to separate people. I have loved providing for you the past 9 months, but it is time for you to join the outside world. I promise, its nice out here too.

Daddy and I set out on our quest to become a family almost three years ago. You are what has been missing in our lives ever since that day. Tomorrow, you will fill that space, and our hearts will be full.

I love you so much and can not wait to meet you. Take it easy on me, kay?

Love, Mama

Due Date

HAPPY DUE DATE TO ME!!

It is an absolutley gorgeous day in Chicago. And a gorgeous day in our life.

We went to the doctor yesterday. Heres some info:

*We had to wait 40 minutes in the lobby, it was obnoxious.
*I have gained exactly 20 lbs. this pregnancy.
*My blood pressure was high, twice.
*My belly measures at 40 cm.
*I am 1 cm dilated.

She was a little concerned about the high blood pressure, mixed with the headaches I had earlier in the week. She decided to do a non-stress test, to make sure the baby was feeling okay. I was hooked up for 40 minutes. She looked over the results and said he looked perfect. His heartrate stays stable when I have contractions and everything they look for in a NST was present. Phew! She was surprised I couldnt feel the contractions, as they were in a somewhat regular pattern.

She said it looked like they may be the start of something and she could see us having a baby this weekend. If he is still cooking as of Monday, we will go in Tuesday at 7:30am to be induced. Of course, I want him to come on his own, but I am ecstatic that he will be here in a few short days! I had Tuesday in the back of my mind the past few weeks. The date is 11-10-09, which I think is pretty cool. Of course, the induction could take forever and he may be born Wednesday, but who cares. Peanut is coming soon..and I have never been so excited in my life!

OH MY GOODNESS, I AM HAVING A BABY! <~~~~~wonder when that will be real..

Three Days

I cant believe I am three days from my due date..its totally surreal! On one hand, I cant believe hes not here yet. On the other hand, oh my, hes almost here. I still cant fathom that I will be going to the hospital soon. I will be making phone calls excitedly screaming his name and stats. I will have my son on my chest. Its my turn, its really my turn!!

On to the subject of getting him here..! I forgot to mention that I also ate pineapple. It was ironic because I ate a ton of pineapple while in my IVF waiting period. I don't care for it much, but I choked it down then and Ill choke it down some more! Also, it was funny to lay there after having sex..like I did when we were trying to get pregnant. This time around, its to get that miracle baby out and into our family!

I am not willing to try castor oil. With my luck, it would make me go into active labor and Ill be stuck in the bathroom. I am not setting myself up for disaster. I debated using my sisters breast pump to stimulate my nipples. I decided against it, since I read some info saying it can cause very quick and painful contractions. Again, I want this to happen when its right.

I have been staying VERY busy since Monday. I have been running errands like a mad woman. Staying on my feet keeps him moving south, right? I raked leaves, baked cookies, organized, cleaned, etc. Today, I even gave 40 lb. Cooper a bath. I have yet to sit down and watch a movie or just relax. I enjoy being active and will do so until he arrives! Hopefully it is helping!

I finally found time to upload pictures, too. Here are the ones from my last shower, Delaney's birthday party and the zoo this past weekend!

Opening her IPOD from us

Laney and her two pregnant Godmothers!

Yeah, we don't follow the rules..