Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Still Hanging

Its a week later and guess what? I am still crabby. Ugh. I am trying hard to shake this mood, but its not happening. I was sure my period was coming any minute, thus the bad mood. However, I am still waiting and its getting obnoxious at this point.

With all the stress of Toms potential job, I am not shocked its late. Ive tried to relax, we had a fun weekend, I am telling myself that its out of my control. As if I wasnt anxious enough to get the ball rolling on our FET cycle, I found out that our insurance is changing names/group numbers as of December 1st. So, the lady clarified that if I start meds before the 1st, Id be set. If I need to start after, it will be an issue to get approval through the new group. Not what I wanted to hear.

Whats the best way to make your period come? Pee on a stick, of course. Even when you know there is no way youre pregnant, seeing the NOT still stings.

Our entire future is out of our hands and its wearing on me and Tom. We walk around each day, waiting for a phone call, an email, or blood.

Until then, I imagine I will continue to hate everything.

I hate ungrateful pregnant people. I hate that Evan lives too many states away. I hate my body. I hate seeing Tom this nervous. I HATE that I feel this way.


Kelly said...

UGH...I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. It is just so unfair. My period was 2 weeks late while I was waiting to start the estrogen for our FET....I was a hateful, raging, crazy woman and my husband did not like me.

I really hope things calm down for you soon! Sending you lots of hugs! And keep peeing on those is sure to make your period come soon!

By the just started following me on instagram...I am kellyann10. Just wanted to let you know that because no one knows about my blog on IG but I've been following your blog for a while!

Bryan and Leslie Clark said...

Praying for you to feel better soon. It's okay to be pissed! I can't imagine what you guys are going through right now. I'm so glad you found such a good friend in Evan.

Lindsay Pavkovich said...

Everyone has the right to hate everything at some point or another :)

Praying things start looking up for you!

Suzanne said...

Don't feel bad about your feelings. You've been under a lot of stress. There is a bigger plan. You might not see it right now but when it happens, it will make sense. Just believe & have faith. Hugs!!

palmtreemama said...

Ugg I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I can imagine how hard it must be, just waiting. My cycles are crazy long and mixed up so I remember never knowing when on earth they would show up and always took longer when I seemed to need them! :/

Ungrateful pregnant people drive me crazy too. I have a a very good friend in that situation right now. Ahh.

Hope things start to look up soon! Hugs!

PS - This is Fiona from Life Amongst The Palm Trees... I've been following for a while but my name now shows up as palmtreemama since switching over to Wordpress, so if you see that name, it is me! :)

Evan Nicole said...

Dont tempt me to hop on a plane in December and come up there. Ive done it before and Ill do it again. I love you my sister.

Kimberly Nielsen said...

Acupuncture helps your cycle begin- gets everything flowing!

marymac1103 said...

Try to remember to be grateful for the blessing of a good and loving husband and 2 beautiful sons. Thinking about our blessings makes it easier to stop thinking about what we don't have. God has a plan for your family, and you need to sit back and let HIM take control.

Melissa said...

Don't feel bad, i do not have any advice on what to do to make your period come, i am also in a similar situation been wating over 49 days now. Hope the stress is gone soon and you guys can relax and start the meds soon! I am thinking about you guys!

Courtney said...

You know what's funny? Maybe not funny, but ironic? I'm feeling exactly the same right now. It's not about ttc, as right now I'm not, but it's about life. I am just crabby. And I really can't figure out why. Last night I tried to put all the dates on the calendar for the holiday season and it just resulted in a fight with DH (we NEVER fight) because I put my extended family ahead of his. And that's like the 3rd time these past two weeks that I'm just feeling selfish and petulant. And I almost don't care. What's wrong with us! Ha. My husband probably wants his sweet wife back. It sounds like you know the source of what's going on, but still, isn't it so frustrating to just be in a bad mood? You know you're being unreasonable (well, I know I am) and just can't stop it.
I'm praying for peace and grace to you and me (and my poor husband!). Here's to making December a great month of relaxing and enjoying what is right in front of us. (And I'm mostly talking to myself here)

Ashley said...

I don't have a lot of advice but just want you to know I am praying for you!! I am just now catching up on your blog. I know while we deal with infertility people are always saying, try to relax. I know it gets old and I have got upset about people always saying it. But, I look back and it does help! Hang in there and go do something you all enjoy this week-end!