Thursday, October 4, 2012

Baby Fever

...I have it. And its about 103.

Ive gone from being okay waiting until Gavin was about a year to start the FET process again..to wanting to start ASAP! It could be that Gavin is growing up so quickly..crawling, feeding himself, etc. It may be the happiness Ive felt as two girlfriends recently got pregnant with assistance. One via FET and one through a surrogate(which is so cool to be a "part" of the process!). It may be the little ache in my heart in wishing that we could get pregnant on our own. Because  I assure you, after 16 days together while Tom is off work, there would be a bun in the oven.

Ive made a plan. Kinda, sorta, maybe Ill go through with it..

Gavin barely nurses and that is all thats holding me back. I am thinking I will continue feeding him through October and use all of November to pump and build more of a frozen stash. I am considering that on Dec 2nd, I will nurse him for the last time. He will be 9 months old. Then, I can use my frozen stash to get him to a year. I may need to supplement with one bottle of formula/day. I'm trying to convince myself that would be okay.

I'm sad because I said that I would nurse Gavin as long as he wanted to, even if that was past a year. He doesn't like to drink and I cant help that. At least with bottles all day, I will be able to monitor his intake better. If he gets breastmilk until age 1, thats all that should matter. I'm still struggling with the decision.

I would love to do the FET in December or January. Im curious to see how this all works out..

14 comments:

KC said...

I can totally relate, I have the fever something fierce!

Megan said...

Happy Mama, happy baby! If he's not nursing well, it is okay to stop - trying to force it will make him miserable, and that will make you miserable. Your plan to pump and give him as much breastmilk as possible is an awesome one. You're a great Mama. I pumped up a storm with my son because I had supply issues and we did have to supplement with some formula, but he continued to get breastmilk mixed in until he was 14 months old and I was very proud of that. Do whatever works best for you and your family and don't feel guilty about it. Sending hugs!

Jessica said...

I'm going through some nursing "woahs" myself momma, hang in there! HUGS.

Alicia said...

I have to agree with Megan. You have done a great job with him and it's ok to stop. I have 3 children and none of them were breastfed. I believe it is a choice and there should be no guilt associated with it. I can't even begin to tell you the guilt trip I received at the hospital with my third child. I never had the patience nor desire to do it and was always worried about the thought of not being able to identify how many ounces my child ate. You bond with your boys on the highest level and you can still bond with Gavin while holding him and giving him a bottle, whether it's formula or pumped breast milk. Follow your heart, you know what you need to do and no one should judge you...it's your decision and you know what is best for you and your child :)

Casey // this modern love. said...

I am so with you on this!!! My baby is 4 months old and I want to get started on another IVF cycle asap- as in like December or January- but I am struggling with wanting to keep her on breastmilk for as long as possible. I have an ENORMOUS frozen supply so I know I could supplement for a while, but it's SUCH a hard decision. HUGS!!

Mrs.Joe said...

Your fever is giving me fever!! We've been trying on our own again but it looks like nothing is gonna happen on its own. I wouldn't beat yourself up about not going the full year. Gavin seems happy and healthy and you're still going to give him as much breastmilk as possible. The only downside to formula feeding at this point is the cost of formula - you've given him a great foundation.

asrubin10 said...

Same here, although we recently went through a financial change and my saving grace on being unable to go forward with another FET for #3 I'd that my 14 month old cant live without nursing so that's my silver lining-I can't cut him off, it would be torturous for both of us. I've been ready for the next baby within their first week both times, but I think it's important to remember the current baby deserves to be a baby and we deserve rest/recovery time. The unknown is just so scary-I haven't been on bc yet after this baby, I'm still waiting for my surprise-14 months later...

Kelly said...

Whatever you decide, he will be on your side and still love you 100%. I agree with happy mama, happy baby. You have made it farther than a lot of mommies, so be proud. Plus, giving him a baby sister or brother would be more amazing than anything!!

Bryan and Leslie Clark said...

Gavin will be just fine without breastmilk, especially if he doesn't want to nurse that much. I bottle fed both kids and they're great. The only downside is that it's expensive to buy formula. My oldest is rarely sick, had only one ear infection, and has no allergies. Those are all things that I was afraid about when I decided to stop nursing him. He's fine! Gavin will be too and you've already done SOOO much for him by nursing him this long. Which do you think will benefit him more. Having a couple more months of breastmilk or having a sibling a couple months closer to his age? Good luck! I'm done now so I will be excited to do another pregnancy through you. :)

teacherJillK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
teacherJillK said...

Follow your heart! I wish (and will pray) for you to have the third baby of your dreams. I wish all babies were as wanted and cared for as yours. :)

Fiona aka DRMama said...

I know how you're feeling as far as that fever goes!!! Eek.. I have it too!! :/ Certainly don't feel bad if you do end up stopping breastfeeding earlier than you had 'planned'. He has gotten lots of goodness already and like you said, this way you can easily track how much he is getting a day! Whatever you decide, I am sure it will be best for your family as a whole! :)

Sue said...

He will be fine. Didn't breastfeed either of my children at all and they turned out great. (now 21 and 18)Go for it.

Susan Sene said...

I have the fever too (my youngest is 14 months).

I didn't even get my first post partum cycle until my first daughter was 9+ months old. With my second, it was just before she turned a year old. I also said I'd let my kids nurse until they were done. But then I really wanted to get pregnant. And then one of my friend said, "just because you wean doesn't mean you'll get pregnant - and then will you regret weaning?"

I thought that was a good point. My first ended up weaning herself at 18 months but I was 5 months pregnant by that time. :) So I just wanted to encourage you to do what you really want to do because you can still conceive while nursing. But if you're both ready, then most definitely stop. That's what's so great about being the Momma - you get to decide! ;)