Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve

Things I dont want to forget about Christmas 2012...

1) Trevors love of Christmas music. He has learned so many lyrics and can sing a ton of songs. He loves Frosty, Drummer boy and Jingle Bells.

2) Gavins favorite song is Jingle Bells. As soon as is comes on or you start singing it, he sways his shoulders back and forth and claps.

3) Our tree. This is the first year we have a full size tree and its real! It is beautiful and perfect. Everyone thats come over cant believe its not fake. The boys have been great about leaving it alone. We didnt have to gate it off.

4) Trevors excitement about our family ornament. We had one made at the mall..its a little black bear family with 2 kids on a sled. They wrote our names on it and Trevor loves it. He has shown it to everyone and must have asked 50 times who is who on the ornament.

5) The boys love Santa! I think Disney was a good intro to people in suits. :) Gavin never cried while on his lap. Trevor loved him too. Although, he was a little shy about talking to him and saying what he wants for Christmas. His answer was "car things".

6) Last night, we started a new tradition and drove to see an outdoor light display. We put the boys in jammies, I sat in the back with them and we sang along to Christmas carols(even Daddy!). The lights were fun to see.

7) We tried to teach Gavin to say Ho-ho-ho. His vocabulary is limited to Mama, Dada, Mwah, and Hi..so it didnt happen. However, he bounces his body up and down a bit as you would if you said Ho-ho-ho.

8) Trevor has really enjoyed our elf, Chippy. We didnt do anything crazy with him this year. He simply moved around our house each night. Trevor loved finding him in the morning. He is very informed and will tell you Chippy has magic and can fly and you can NOT touch him.

9) Trevors favorite movie is Polar Express. His favorite books to read have been the two Olivia Christmas ones we have.

10) This has been the most magical Christmas yet and it isnt even over! Seeing the magic of Chriytmas through a 3 year olds eyes is something special. Being able to experience a 1st Christmas again is the cherry on top.

We checked everything off our holiday to do list except the Lincoln Park zoo lights, which we plan to see next week. We loved every minute of celebrating the season. I cant wait to see the boys tomorrow morning when they see the gifts under the tree.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

FET Day 22

Well, I ended up going to the doctor for blood and ultrasound today. Everything looked great and Im instructed to lower my lupron dosage to 5 units and add an estrace at night. I up to two estrace a day starting Thursday and take the leap to 6 a day starting next Monday. I dont have to go back to the office until that Monday, New Years Eve.

I asked the nurse about the date of the actual FET and found out it will for sure be the 10th, since Dr. M will be out of town on the 3rd. My office always does a beta 8 days post. That puts it at Friday, January 18th.

My birthday.

I am not sure how I feel about that. I hope its a good sign. Im really happy to know the date and to have instructions for the next 9 days. It still amazes me how laid back a frozen cycle is.

19 days until FET.

27 days until Beta.

3 days until Christmas. :)

Thursday, December 20, 2012

FET Day 20

IM SO HAPPY, OH, SO HAPPY! I WANT TO GO FROLIC OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN STORM!!!!!!


I have been waiting for my lupron bleed since Tuesday. I waited patiently as Wednesday came and went and I was really feeling bad about by today. I was worried that everything about this cycle has been a pain already and I fear whats to come. I looked back at my previous FET's and saw that it came 3 days after the first time, 4 days after the second time and 5 days after the third time. Today is day 5!

Well, it came, about 7:30 tonight. I probably shouldnt be this happy about blood. But I am.

Ill call tomorrow and let them know. Im guessing theyll count tomorrow as full flow day 1 which would put me at day 3 on Sunday. Ill likely be asked to go in for blood and ultrasound on Monday. I can schedule that into my Christmas Eve. :)

Im so thrilled to be moving forward. FET will be either 2 or 3 weeks from today. EEEEEEEKKKK!!!

Monday, December 17, 2012

FET Day 17

Its really easy to remember what day you're on when you started on the 1st of the month. :)

Ive been off birth control for 2 days now. Im waiting for my period and thinking itll come around Wednesday.

Trevor likes watching me do my shots. I told him that I take shots to have more babies. He says he wants 5 boys and 4 girls. Silly boy.

There is a serious baby boom in 2013. TONS of summer babies being announced...lots of gender reveals in the coming months. I sure hope we can join in on the fun.

Weve kept things pretty secretive..if people ask, we say I am on birth control to regulate things. Very few know Ive actually been on more meds than that for a while.

I have this grand plan in my head..of sharing that I am pregnant at Gavins bday party..since itll be right around 13 weeks. Ive thought of when, how, the thrill of it all.

I hope Im not setting myself for heartache. Damn it, this will work!


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Twelve

Twelve random thought as on 12-12-12:

1) Only 3 birth control pills left! I had my weeks off in my head and was thinking Id get the lupron bleed around Christmas. I should get it a few days after stopping bc on Saturday. Woo hoo for moving forward!
2) I took the boys to Navy Pier today. They had $12 parking so we took advantage and went to the Childrens museum. It was a blast.
3)Trevor has turned a corner recently. I had been joking for months about wanting to look back and say we made it through that terrible stage. Here I am; we made it! He is back to my sweet, loving, well behaved boy and I love it!
4)Gavin is sleeping! Finally! It feels amazing to hear him at 6 or 7 am, rather than 2 or 3.
5)Speaking of sleeping, Tom has been working the overnight shift since we got back from Florida. Im not a fan of sleeping alone, but its been okay. Weve adjusted our life to the schedule and its working.
6)No news on the police job front.
7)Tom has been working out at work and eating better. Its about time I got on the bandwagon, so I started the 30 day shred today. Ive been unhappy with my body since Gavin and when you add in winter and the holidays, I cant let it get any more out of control. Hopefully I can stick with it!
8)Still no snow in Chicago. I love the snow, as long as its on the weekend when we dont have to be anywhere. :) Im hoping it comes soon because I know Trevor will go nuts.
9)Both boys gifts are done and wrapped. Tom is done, too. I need to get a few friends and family members done, maybe this weekend.
10)A little over a month until my birthday. I do not like getting older.
11)Yesterday, I was told 5 times how small Gavin is. I KNOW, people. We were at Monkey Bizness and he was crawling around and pulling up and walking holding my hands. Every Mom asked how old he was and had the comment about how tiny he is. I believe its because they think hes older since he is so steady. He was 15 lb. 12 oz. at 9 months..less than 3rd %ile.
12)I wish I could see into the future..to the day were in an ultrasound room..seeing a heartbeat or two. :)

Monday, December 10, 2012

Holiday Happenings

Were only 10 days into December and we have been taking full advantage of the most wonderful time of the year. We kicked things off on November 29th at Bass Pro shop. We love visiting Santa there every year and this was the best yet. Going on a Thursday, so early in the season was a great idea. A little pat on the back for myself. :) We went around 5pm and there was no line for Santa. We met with our friends and their 4 boys. We were able to get a picture of our kids, their kids and then one all together. They give you a free photo they take and allow you to take as many with your camera as you want. We walked away with 3 free pics. My boys love Santa and they came out so cute! Not to mention, he is an authentic Santa and takes time to talk to the kids.




The boys played with the trains and climbed on the 4-wheelers. Then, we rode the free carousel. That was new this year!





After our visit, we walked across to the mall to watch the light show. At the promenade, they play three songs and flash the lights along with it. There are lights along the top of stores as well as a huge tree. It was very entertaining. The kids ran around and loved it. It was a warm night, so that was great.


After the show, we drove over to one of our favorite restaurant, Red Robin. We are quite the scene with 6 boys, 5 of which are under 5. They are all well behaved and we had a great time.

Our absolute favorite activity in December is the Winter Wonderfest at Navy Pier. It is the most magical place in Chicago. It is decorated beautifully and the atmosphere is so much fun. Its free to walk around and if you want to enjoy the activities, you purchase a wristband. Tom and Trev got wristbands. We were a little disappointed because they changed some of the height requirements since last year and Trevor wasn't able to do as much. He enjoyed the jump houses, train ride, carousel, ball pit, etc. We packed a lunch and ate there, pushing past nap time. Gavin crawled around and people watched and passed out just before we left. It was a great day and we are glad to have scratched it off our holiday to-do list. 











See how tired Gavin is in the above picture? THAT is how I feel these past few days. I don't know if its the meds or the dreary weather, but I am wiped by about 5pm. Gavin has been sleeping well, so I should be better off than Ive been in oh, 9 months. I have that newly pregnant exhaustion and I'm not even pregnant yet.  


Sunday, December 9, 2012

FET Day 9

Were moving along in this FET process. Ive had 3 nights of shots so far and they have been easy peasy. Right now, my evening cocktail is 10 units lupron, prenatal, birth control, and baby aspirin. This will continue until Saturday and then Ill stop the birth control. The holidays are a good time to cycle because you are so distracted with the madness they bring..days fly by and all of a sudden youre on day 9. :)

In other good news, I got our insurance figured out. I just had to put a call into my OB and ask for another referral. I didnt need to go in, they just submitted it and faxed it over to the RE. I was scared they would tell me to stop meds until they had it, but I didnt need the referral until I go in for my day 3 ultrasound, That will be right around Christmas and thats when they consider the FET cycle to really begin. Phew! Im so thankful for our insurance each and every day.

Im finding it hard to picture being pregnant in about a month. I want to believe it will happen. I would love to be able to celebrate another 1st Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas next year. I want the thrill of seeing PREGNANT on a test. I look forward to that first ultrasound and a beautiful heartbeat. These are a few of my favorite things...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

FET Day 4

I talked to my nurse today and got the go ahead to start lupron on Thursday. As if taking a little birth control pill each night wasnt exciting enough...I can not wait to inject myself each night. I will continue birth control and add lupron for 10 days, then stop the BC and continue the lupron. I should get a period as soon as I stop birth control and will go in for day 3 blood and ultrasound. Then, Ill start building the lining and things will really start moving! This is the slow, boring part of the process..but because I have been waiting so long to start it, I am thrilled!!

My doctor does transfers on Thursdays, so if all goes well, transfer will be January 3rd or 10th. My birthday is the 18th, so Ill take two pink lines as a gift this year. :)



Monday, December 3, 2012

Gavin-9 Months

Gavin turned 9 months old yesterday. NINE months! We are 3/4 of the way through his first year and I can not believe it. Nine months in, nine months out. It amazes me when you compare the two. I booked the room for his first birthday party and now the planning will begin!

Gavin is still our peanut. He weighs less than 16 lbs. He goes for his check up on Wednesday, so Ill know exactly. He has gotten taller lately. He is skinny and fits in 3-6 month clothes, but now they are too short for him.

He really fits well in 6 months and 9 month clothes. He wears shoes more often now and his socks never stay on his feet! He is in size 2 diapers and will be for a while.



Gavins nicknames are Gavy-goo, Gooners, G-Unit, Tiny, and anything else we come up with that day. :)

His eyes. Oh, his eyes. They make my heart melt every minute. He gets complimented on them constantly.


He got a tooth! Just before 9 months, same as big brother. Its the bottom left and the right will be there soon. And we knew he was teething. With Trevor, I would notice a tooth and realize thats why he was a bit fussy. Gavin was not a happy camper and let us know it hurt. He also gets messy diapers, so that adds to him being uncomfortable.


Gavin is extremely healthy and hasnt had more than a runny nose. Even when other illness has come into our home, he dodged it. Must have gotten my immune system. :)

His first word was Mama, followed by Dada. 

Gavin is so stable and will walk soon. He can stand on his own for a bit, but then he throws himself forward and falls down. But, if you walk while holding his hands, he can walk perfectly for hours.


Gavin is the most loving baby ever. He is a Mamas boy, but he is crazy about his Daddy. When Tom walks in the house in the morning, Gavin makes this cute noise and crawls to him as fast as he can. He adores Trevor, too. He loves to be held, to snuggle and rub his head on you. He is a people person.

I always joke that he is our little puppy dog. Why? 1) He cleans up under the table after we eat. 2) He sits at your feet and whines until you give him attention. 3) He is very forgiving. If Trevor is in a timeout because he hurt Gavin, G is there right away..laying on him and giggling. Case and point!

Gavin is very ticklish. His inner thighs and feet are the most!


Gavin loves the bath and splashes the whole time. He recently started putting his mouth in to blow bubbles aka lick the water.

He still takes 3 naps a day. One around 9 am and the second is based on how long the first nap is. He will sleep 30-40 minutes before dinner and then goes to bed around 7:30/8.

His nighttime sleep is still unpredictable. There have been a few nights where he slept through! Sometimes, he wakes and I feed him and hes back out minutes later.


Gavin has been much better taking the bottle. He uses the Tomee Tipee bottle and I got he faster flow nipple and that helped! I am thankful for this because he will be on bottles 100% in a day or two.

The boy LOVES food. He eats 3 meals a day and could quite possibly eat in between. He mostly eats real food..there are only a few jars he really cares for. He does have a yobaby yogurt for lunch nearly every day. He loves all food..he hasnt turned anything away. If you are try to eat something in front of him, he is yelling from the high chair or crying for it at your feet. His favorite food thus far has been alfredo pasta. He was screaming for more, we couldnt cool and cut it fast enough!

He is still pretty bald. His hair is growing..slowly and more in the back.


He loves music and dances along. I taught him to rock back and forth when I sing Row row row your boat, so cute! 

Gavin waves, shakes his head yes and no, and raises his arms up for so big!

His newest and greatest trick is giving kisses. He says Mmmwwwaaaaaahhhh so lout and enthusiastic. Its adorable!


He is happy. So, so happy. He is an easy going baby that is up for any adventure. Its more fun to go kid places now that he can join in on the fun.

I cant forget about his dimple. Right there, left cheek. Its scrumptious!

I look at Gavin and wonder how one tiny little man can bring so much to our family. We were happy before him, but this is a whole new level. He has added more to our family than I ever thought possible. 


Sunday, December 2, 2012

December First

Yesterday was a good day. A really good day. 

I got up early to head to the doctor. I called to let them know I was going crazy being so late, so they suggesting getting some blood work done to see what was going on. I was back home before 9 and the fun began.

We started the day with some gifts to kick off the month. Things the boys can enjoy until Christmas..they each got an ornament, 2 books, and jammies. They also got the Little People Santa sleigh to share. 


After they opened gifts, we made a stop to Home Depot for the workshop. This month it was a picture frame. We look forward to the 1st Saturday of the month..the projects never disappoint and you cant beat free.

We left HD and went to the tree farm to chop down our 1st Christmas tree. It was fun searching for the perfect one. After walking for about 15 minutes, we found one we were happy with. Tom sliced his finger with the saw..luckily, it wasnt too deep of a cut. Thats our family, keeping things interesting!!





See all the blood on his finger? Poor Daddy!






We went home, ate a quick lunch and put the boys down for a nap. Tom and I were super productive and got the tree up, put lights on it and decorated the rest of the house. The tree is the perfect size, tall enough and wide, too! When the boys got up, we put the ornaments on the tree.



Then, we went on the Polar Express! Our park district does this event every year and we buy tickets way in advance. We dressed the kids in jammies and went to the PD to hear the story. We walked across the street to the train tracks and hopped on the Metra toward the "North Pole" aka the most west station. While waiting in line, the nurse called me with my blood results. There was no evidence of ovulation, so I got the okay to start birth control that night. FINALLY! December 1st=day 1 toward baby #3. Trevor enjoyed the ride there while Gavin caught a nap.



The North Pole had Santa, milk and cookies and live music.






We rode back home and hung out the rest of the night. Swallowing that tiny pill made me so happy. We are thrilled to be moving forward! I spent some time looking at my past cycles on the blog and FET usually takes about 5 weeks from day 1 of cycle to transfer. Were looking at early January. My nurse said she would call me tomorrow with more specific instructions. I should start lupron on Thursday. SO SO SO happy!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Still Hanging

Its a week later and guess what? I am still crabby. Ugh. I am trying hard to shake this mood, but its not happening. I was sure my period was coming any minute, thus the bad mood. However, I am still waiting and its getting obnoxious at this point.

With all the stress of Toms potential job, I am not shocked its late. Ive tried to relax, we had a fun weekend, I am telling myself that its out of my control. As if I wasnt anxious enough to get the ball rolling on our FET cycle, I found out that our insurance is changing names/group numbers as of December 1st. So, the lady clarified that if I start meds before the 1st, Id be set. If I need to start after, it will be an issue to get approval through the new group. Not what I wanted to hear.

Whats the best way to make your period come? Pee on a stick, of course. Even when you know there is no way youre pregnant, seeing the NOT still stings.

Our entire future is out of our hands and its wearing on me and Tom. We walk around each day, waiting for a phone call, an email, or blood.

Until then, I imagine I will continue to hate everything.

I hate ungrateful pregnant people. I hate that Evan lives too many states away. I hate my body. I hate seeing Tom this nervous. I HATE that I feel this way.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

By A Thread

..I had planned to post today about the last day of our trip. I was going to talk about how it was the best vacation ever and it was hard to leave. How those memories will forever be etched in my heart.

..But, I cant. Not today. I am in a bit of a rut and I dont seem to be climbing out any time soon. I have so much on my plate and its wearing on me.

This weekend was nuts. Tom and I went on a nice date Friday night and then he was so sick that night through yesterday. He caught some nasty bug that left him in our bedroom for 36 hours. He missed two days of work. We had two birthday parties on Saturday and were headed to one on Sunday when Trevor threw up all over the car/himself. We were 30 minutes from home and on the highway. Not a good combo.

Luckily, he recovered faster than Daddy(imagine that!) and it skipped me and Gavin.

Gavin, however, is teething big time. His gums are swollen and one tooth will pop through any moment. He has been very needy and on my hip 24/7.

These things are no big deal. Gavins teeth will come and the boys will be 100% better soon. There are 2 bigger things weighing on my mind.

1)Toms job. He is about 75% done with the hiring process for a new police department. Everything has gone well, its his dream job, it should happen. I told Tom it feels like all of our eggs are in one basket. Not just any eggs-ostrich eggs. At any moment a wild animal can come eat our eggs. And it terrifies me. They can  decide not to hire him at any moment and our world will be rocked.

2)Getting pregnant. There are new pregnancy announcements daily. Yes, daily! Its the same old- happy for them(most of the time) and sad for you. After 5 years struggling with infertility, its not any easier. I hate my body, I hate that I cant make a baby with my husband, I hate having no clue if/when Ill get pregnant again. My period is 2 weeks late and I am impatient. I want to get the ball rolling forward. I did order my FET meds today and will get them tomorrow, in case my period comes this weekend...Ill be ready. I was sure I would have by now. Last time I was this crabby, I got my period the next day and thought, "That explains it!" This time? Bad mood is on day 2 and no blood in sight..

Our entire life is up in the air. The majority of our 7 years together has been like this. Im tired, emotionally drained and hanging on by a thread.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Hollywood Studios Day 2

Friday was our final full day. We hung out at the condo, did some laundry and cleaned up. Late morning, we headed back to Hollywood Studios.


The first thing we did was see Beauty and the Beast. We got fastpasses to Tower of Terror and planned to take turns riding with my brother and his girlfriend. Unfortunately  one of the elevators wasnt working, so the fastpass line was long too. We ended up skipping it and heading to eat.


We sat at the little cafe and shared a giant sandwich and giant cupcake. Trevor was in heaven. 






We went on the Great Movie Ride and then got a spot for the parade. It had a ton of Trevors favorite characters. He stood on the stroller and waved the entire time.








We headed to the Indiana Jones show and poor Trevor was asleep within 5 minutes. The show is extremely loud and he snoozed right through it.



After the show, we went to meet some characters. We just let Trevor nap a bit, so we could move on with our day.





We planned to stay until the Fantasmic show, but we still needed to go to Downtown Disney and do our big shopping. We were so tired and wanted to go back to the condo, but I had a list of souvenirs to buy, since I always wait until the end of the trip.

We were leaving the park and walking to the car..I was pouting and talking about how I wish we could live there and we didnt know when we would be back..
We looked up and spotted a beautiful rainbow. How can you not smile at that? 


Downtown Disney was crowded!! We were starving and ate at Earl of Sandwich. I had the most delicious holiday sandwich. I am so sad there isn't one near us because it was amazing! We traded some vinyls, and shopped at World of Disney. We left with magnets for the fridge, bath toys, 2 stuffed animals and a charm for my bracelet. It was a successful shopping trip!

It was another long day and we all slept like babies that night.