Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Draining Day

Ive been away lately due to a death. Toms lifelong friend, Matt, passed away late Thursday. He just turned 26. Matt and Tom went to school together since preschool, played basketball and golf together and were caddys at a local golf course for years. He was a reader at our wedding. He had been battling cancer for about a year and a half. He beat it once and it came back a few months later. Tom has been his "keeper", as I called him, since the day he was diagnosed. He constantly visited, kept him laughing, took him out of the house, asked for updates and was there for him. Matt took a turn for the worse about 2 weeks ago. They found out the cancer spread and there was nothing they could do. He started having seizures and was back and forth from the hospital and home. Thursday, they sent him home on hospice and he died hours later.

Tom had seen him the Saturday before and could tell it was the end. We planned on visiting him Friday evening as a family. We were downtown at the museum when we got the call. Tom has been beating himself up about not going to see him Thursday night, but no one knew he would be gone so soon.

Its been a hard week. I have never seen my husband cry so much. I think its hard for him to feel the pain as a young man the same age as Matt and also as a father. I have never felt so helpless. There is nothing I can say or do to make it better.

The wake was last night and it was beautiful. We brought Trevor with and he was great. He got to meet a lot of people for the first time. We left him behind for the funeral today. Tom was a pall bearer. The service was very nice, but terribly sad. No one should have to attend a funeral for a 26 year old. No Mother should ever have to bury her son. No wife should have to watch her husband suffer like I did today.

I can only imagine the pain his family will feel through the holidays and every day from now on. Its another reminder of how short life is and that you are not guaranteed tomorrow.

Because this needs to end on a bright note, here is Trevor testing out his new umbrella, or umblella, as he says. I couldn't possibly love him more than I do today.








10 comments:

Mandy said...

I am so so sorry for your loss..

Cori said...

So sad. Just makes us all realize we need to not sweat the little things.

Stace said...

I am so sorry to hear about Tom's friend. Another reminder of how fragile life really is. Hopefully that fishy faced little boy & the squishy yet-to-be-born baby will make him smile a little.

Tracy said...

I am so sorry to hear about your husbands friend.. That is so sad and he was way too young.. Such a reminder for all of us to not take anything for granted. I hope Tom hangs in there..and you too. That's gotta be hard on you too.

kim_brough said...

Sorry to hear. Maybe the name will carry on in your new babe? :)

Jodi said...

He was so young. God must have big plans for him.

Angela said...

I'm so sorry... I'm praying for comfort for Tom. I lost my dear friend too and you're right, there is nothing you can say or do. Sadly, you can't really shorten the grief journey as I'm sure you've experienced yourself. I'm sure your loving presence is a deep source of comfort to Tom though. prayers...
~Angela~

Meagan said...

What a tragedy! I'm so sorry for you and your husband! Praying for you and his friend's family!

Tonia said...

So sorry to hear that Erin. Please pass my condolences on to Tom. Not an easy thing to go through. I will pray for comfort for you all.

Suzanne said...

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family.