Thursday, October 13, 2011

Bittersweet

I have been feeling a little down lately. The day I have been dreading since February is fast approaching. I would love to skip over it completely. Go to bed on October 21st and wake up on the 23rd? October 22nd is the due date for my miscarriage.

To be honest, I hadn't thought about the loss much. Summer was a blur and I tried to focus on the good in my life. Now that we are in the dreaded month, I cant escape the pain.

Its such an odd feeling. I know that if I hadn't lost the baby(s) then, this little guy couldn't be baking inside me. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the definition of bittersweet.

I know it will be a busy day, the 22nd. I plan to carve out a little time to honor our angels and remember how lucky we are to be where we are today.

6 comments:

e Daly said...

I know the feeling. I had a miscarriage prior to my having my daughter. People always say that I wouldn't have her if I didnt lose that baby. Of course I can't imagine life without Rory but it's not like I wouldn't have felt the sameway about the baby I lost. An odd feeling. I just had another miscarriage in August so I have another date to dread. I hope the day comes and goes quickly for you!

Shannon said...

I've had that bittersweet feeling for this whole pregnancy. We concieved twins but lost one.
It's good to remember. You don't want them to be forgotten.

Marcie said...

I have went through 3 IVF's and still can remember the expected duedate for all 3. I think it's just something that we will always remember, and you know what, that's ok!

Brittany said...

I know the feeling as well. I have experience two miscarriages and the dates January 20th (2007) and October 28th (2009) have a speical meaning to me too. It's hard to describe, and even harder to feel. Bittersweet is a good explanation.

Renee said...

I know the feeling. My baby's due date was August 17. It was a very hard day; I was incredibly emotional. But that day also brought a lot of healing and closure. I no longer sit around thinking I'm only so many weeks pregnant and I should be 38 weeks (or whatever). Of course I will always remember our first baby and wish we could have kept him or her, but it is nice to have that due date behind me.

Once Upon A Time said...

I will be thinking of you that day.