Saturday, March 5, 2011

Old vs. New

I gotta say, I am really missing my old clinic.

Tom and I both agree we are unhappy with our clinic, but should stay with them. The main reason? They have the highest success rate with IVF in the Midwest. If we wanted to get a second opinion, I would have to make a regular gyno appt, get a referral to a different RE, make a consult, get all of my paperwork sent over to them..ALL to be told we need IVF to make babies. Seems silly, no? That would put us back a few months which is something we do not want right now. We will move forward with fresh IVF cycle #2 with clinic #2.

Of course, I miss my old clinic because they got me pregnant. I wonder if I had my FET's done there if they would have been successful?

Really, the main thing we miss, is their compassion. I had one nurse and one doctor at clinic #1. That way, I was always dealing with the same people. They knew my story and could always help. At clinic #2, there is only one doctor, but many nurses. When I get a call or place one, I never know who I am talking to. Sometimes, I have to refresh them on whats going on right now. I never even got a congratulations from the nurse that called with my first great beta..before we knew it was going downhill.

I always feel like they're rushing me off the phone. I was in a terrible place for weeks, constantly waiting on phone calls with blood results. They would just give me the number, simple instructions if needed and rush to hang up. I am NOT the patient to be a burden and constantly have concerns..but when you are losing your baby and possibly having an ectopic pregnancy..I HAD CONCERNS!

I had to request that 4th blood work appointment. And then she went on to tell me how they were monitoring me closely. I felt like screaming-NO, you wouldn't have even known this was going on if I hadn't demanded to come in today! I also had to request my ultrasound, after I explained I would not take an injection without ruling everything out first.

At our WTF appointment a few weeks ago, I walked away crying. A huge part of that was because of the doctor. He is nice..but too formal. It would have been nice to hear that he was sorry we lost the baby. It would have been nice to hear him say we will get you pregnant again!! He was full of numbers and facts..a little compassion would have been nice. Tom totally agrees with me now, after joining me for that appointment.

The nicest person at the office? The older man that draws the blood. He was the only person who told me congrats after my first blood draws. He also was the only person who looked at me and said, Are you okay? and how sorry he was about the loss.

Also, I like the patient portal. We have a website I can sign in to that has all of our info. It was handy for me to compare my second FET cycle with the first. I wanted to see the differences. Toms SA results will post there. Any consents we will be signing are available. A flow sheet with my current and past cycles are listed. On the right, it says COMPLETE under Thaw 1 & 2. Yet, FET #2 is so not complete..its left me with a broken heart, headaches and insomnia!

It will come in handy even more for the IVF cycle. There are more drugs and appointments. It will surely help me keep track of things. I am really not looking forward to that drive every other day with gas prices being close to $4 around here.

So, we will start our new cycle soon..check in with our patient portal every day..and let the phlebotomist know how kind he is. Do you think I could bring in baked goodies and label them for him ONLY!?


Angelwingsbaby said...

Sure you could.Just package them up with his name on them.If you do not know his name call and ask it. Or just take them to him directly if you have that option.Compassion and bedside manner are something that makes all the difference no matter what kind of doctor you are seeing. Hopefully it gets better for you there.

Robbie said...

I would just bring them and give them directly to him. If anyone asks you why he is getting something, tell them that he has been so kind to you each time you have dealt with him and wanted to let him know how you appreciate it. It will be up to him if he shares, but seeing you give him something and not to them will probably make them be more kinder.

J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J said...

I think you should package them up and hand them to him with a small note that says, Thank You. I'm so sorry the others didn't show you the same compassion as he did.

When they forget to show you the compassion you need, remember us here...who are showering you with compassion!

When I met with my new social worker two weeks ago, I felt the same way as you. She had me driving home in tears. She had no compassion and she talked numbers with me...national adoption averages. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted compassion.


Stephanie said...

New follower. I'm sorry docs and nurses have to be soooo clinical sometimes. Keep in mind, they sometimes, have to do this because otherwise they would hurt with EVERY patient they treated. It would be nice though for them to have some sort of bedside manner. Don't take it personal, and don't give up. Lean on your sweet husband... and adorable son, u guys will get there! Thanks for sharing your brave story.

Nicole said...

I'm so, so sorry you are having doc personality issues. Even worse that you don't want to switch clinics because of the time wasting issue (understandably).
The first RE we ever met with was like that- nice and professional, but cold. It was all very much just a business to him. I just don't think that something as substantial as IVF is JUST a business, especially with the kinds of emotions that your patients are going through! If they are coming to you as an RE, OBVIOUSLY they've been through a lot and could use some TLC.
We kept looking until we found an RE we liked better, but we didn't have insurance hoops to jump through because in our state insurance won't cover a penny and we are 100% self pay.
And I can't believe about your nurses and the staff being so cold also. I just don't get why you would go into medicine to help SICK or otherwise struggling people if you don't have the compassion for it. The RE we chose to use for our first IVF and FET seemed nice at first, but turned out to be pretty lame as well. On our FET they had to thaw all 7 of our frozen embryos because they kept dying (only two survived), so I thought it was our last chance EVER, having voewd never to so a fresh IVF again. It was a Sunday when our beta came in so the RE called to tell us the results (since she was on call). She told us it was negative like you would tell someone that their appointment time was 10:00 am. I was completely shocked as how quickly and non-chalantly the words came out of her mouth, I had to ask for clarification to make sure that's what she had really said. Then immediately she started trying to convince us to do some study with her clinic for another fresh cycle asap. Are you kidding me?! Ugh. Why are people like that? And when I got my humongous patient file from them to transfer clinics, it made me even more mad because their notes seemed annoyed that I was calling and also said things like "patient became hysterical" when I KNOW after my FET embryo transfer I was only crying, and mostly silently! And who cares even if I was sobbing out of control, I just lost all my freezer babies but two crappy ones that even you said probably won't work! Grr!
Anyway, back to YOU and your dilemma. I'm really sorry about the whole thing. It just seems wrong that IF has to throw SO many obstacles at us. The m/c club and the failed IVF club definitely harden you in a way, don't they? It's awful.
Good luck with the next cycle, I'll be reading. Maybe we will be ET around the same time. Hey, at least your clinic has stellar success rates :)