Friday, March 4, 2011

My Friday

I took Trevor in for his late 15 month appointment today. I wasn't liking his ped's office and decided to switch after they handled his last illness(ear infection & secondary pneumonia) so poorly. A friend recommended the new office, so I decided to call the insurance and switch over.

I freakin' love the new office! The waiting room is big, clean and warm. There is a sick side and a well side, divided by a huge fish tank. I just loved the feeling sitting there. We went back and the nurse was so sweet and the room was huge. Trevor was running, tickling the nurse and just having fun. He is currently 23 lbs. and 32 inches. Tall and thin! We only waited a minute or two before the doc came in. I loved her! She was young and kind. She asked me a million questions..what he eats, when he sleeps, how many words he says, etc. This is exactly what I wanted. The other office was always in and out of the room, no questions asked if I didn't have any concerns. She examined him and said he looked perfect, of course. We return at 18 months!

Of course, he had 2 shots that I was dreading. The nurse came back and I gave him a sucker. The kid didn't even flinch while having 2 needles poked in his thighs! I was soo happy that he didn't get upset. I scheduled his appointment for May and left there feeling thankful I decided to switch!

Then, my day went downhill. You see, one of our good friends had a baby yesterday. Today, my other friend had her baby boy. Also today, a friend announced she is due in September. I came home, looked at Tom and told him I feel this big right now. I was supposed to have a baby in October. Ill never get to announce the news. I just couldn't take it anymore. The tears came. We are going to visit one of the friends at the hospital tomorrow. I always said I wouldn't let infertility hold me back from my life; our life. Well, right now, it is RULING my life. I need to get a grip and stop allowing that to happen. For Tom and for this little boy:

I came home and contacted a local RESOLVE group. There's a meeting on March 17th and I hope I can find the courage to attend. I also went to the mall and found 3 dresses-one for my sisters sprinkle, one for a May wedding and one for our 5 yr anniversary. Retail therapy is necessary sometimes. Trevor walked away with 2 new pair of it was a successful night.

Tom went in for his SA this morning. Check #1 off the to-do list. I go back for blood work on Monday morning. I have already been in contact with the drug company. They will sent my baby in a box on March 23rd. I am still bleeding, so I am not getting my hopes up for starting the cycle on March 27th. If it happens, great. If not, life will go on.
I'm really going to try and channel my thoughts to other places. Planning a shower, bachelorette party & a sprinkle, pricing out a trip for us in October, deciding on where to move this summer, soaking in my hilarious son, enjoying the precious time I have with my sexy husband.
Those are the things life is all about.


Bren said...

Erin, I love Trevors little outfit! Where did you get it?

I also wanted to say I totally understand that feeling of having a miscarriage and then everyone announcing pregnancies and having babies. That is exactly what happened to me when I had mine and it almost felt like torture. You want to be happy and there for your friends but just remember that it is also ok to take time for yourself and grieve your loss and be a little selfish sometimes. You seem like such an amazing person and friend so I know you will do your best with all this but just remember to let yourself cry and be sad if you need it, its ok!

Jamie said...

Our ped. office is like that too...I wonder if we go to the same one?? Naperville?

Melissa said...

Sorry that your being "ruled" by infertility right sucks!! Don't let it beat you. We have to remember to be thankful for what we have and not what we don't have. Hard to do sometimes...I know.

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

Um, can I have the pediatrician's number? Seriously sounds like a fantastic place! I was contemplating switching just today because, while our doctor is great, she is always late and a quick well visit takes us 1-2 hours (which is HARD when kids get bored).

And she also doesn't appreciate me delaying vaccines. Which I don't care if she appreciates it or not BUT I do want my doctor's support and insight.

Anyway it is so hard when babies are all around. After my miscarriages it was hard not to turn inward and become hermit-like for a couple weeks. Give yourself some time. If the people know what is going on they will understand (and if they DON'T understand they can talk to me about it and I'll set them straight!).

Stace said...

I love the pictures of Trev at the library!! :)

So glad that you found a great doctor for Trevor! It's so important to find someone you're comfortable with.

And I'm so sorry you've had to go through everything that you've been going through. It's just not fair.