Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thin String

After a lot of tears last night, Tom and I got to talking.

We just don't get it.

I don't get how there's no chance everything will pick up. Or that were just losing one baby.

Something doesn't feel right.

I called my nurse this morning. She is willing to let me get my blood drawn tomorrow. I need to know that number. If it has decreased more, I will accept it. I just dont understand how it could have started so high. Ive never heard of that happening. Also, I had such a slow increase with Trevor. And look at how that turned out.

For now, we are holding on to a thin string of hope.

Because we don't know what else to do.

40 comments:

Whitney said...

Hi Erin,

I want you to know I've been praying for you, Tom & Trevor. I've been following your blog for about a year now but haven't commented much.

I believe in miracles. I also believe in God's Will. We may not always understand, but His plan is greater than our own.

Good luck tomorrow & I'll continue praying!

Nichole said...

*Hugs*

Abi said...

I'll be hoping with you Erin.

Melissa said...

I'm thinking of you guys. Hugs

Jen said...

Erin,

I was hoping you would come to this conclusion. I think this baby is sticking and I so so so hope I am right. After reading some other comments left by others, about the number going down a bit and still having a viable pregnancy it made feeling even stronger. Again, I hope I am right.

mindye said...

I am going to be praying, hoping, wishing, sending postive thoughts your way. I believe in HOPE.
MindyE

Tracy said...

Sorry I've posted quite a bit lately. I initially thought the same when you posted yesterday, that maybe you were losing one. I don't know how the nurse could be so sure with the numbers you had. I'm so glad you're not giving up all hope! I will keep your family in my prayers.

Bobbi said...

I couldn't agree more with your decision! I thought that, too...how do they not know you're maybe only losing one twin? Your numbers were excellent and the drop wasn't that big. I'll continue praying for you!!!! Hold onto that hope. I know I am.

Shelby said...

I've been thinking about your situation And I agree with you and tom. It didn't drop that much And how do they now That you are not Losing a twin. I would have made the same decision as you. You have to go with your gut.

Single Mama said...

Sending lots of prayers :)

Jen said...

Fingers crossed.

You are in my prayers.

Goodluck tomorrow.

melissa78 said...

Praying for you!!!!

Emily said...

Hi Erin!
I'm praying really hard for you guys right now - I thought that what the nurse said to you was a little strange too.
Keeping up the good thoughts:)

Mama KC said...

I will be praying for you and for a wonderful outcome! ::hugs::

twondra said...

Praying for you sweetie. ((HUGS))

Leslie Lambert said...

Sweet girl, I am so so sorry. My betas from the first miscarriage started out high too, so it was confusing for a long time for me as well. After I did some research, I found that embryos with chromosomal defects can produce a lot of HCG (higher than normal) initially, making your betas look high at first. My first betas were off the charts high, but my doubling time slowed every time we checked it after that.

I don't say this to discourage you (because I HOPE everything is still fine!), but thought you might want to know that tidbit.

Jessica said...

I'll be praying for you and your family.

The L's said...

I think you are doing the right thing. Sending lots of hope your way...

Jessica said...

I am praying that there is something in your gut telling you not to give up because you still have one baby in there. Many prayers that tomorrow brings an unexpected miracle!

Samantha said...

I'm praying for you and your family.

Mandy said...

Hi Erin,
I don't want to sound negative, but even if you numbers go up you more then likely lost the baby. I have been through this 5 times. Numbers go up like they should then it dips a little and keeps going up. It is just false hope. My last pregnancy was as high as 22583, then down 21973, then 24hours later 25348. I was around 9 weeks and baby was measuring 7. Ultrasound looked good two days later no beating heart:( Don't give up keep doing what you are doing and you will be blessed again. I have not given up and I do have 3 healthy children and 5 in heaven.
Mandy

Stacey said...

I will praying for you tomorrow! I hope everything turns out positive and you and Tom can take a big sigh or releif.

We have Angel Wings said...

Oh Erin,

My heart sank when I read this. I'm hoping it was just a fluke and you're little one is holding on tight.

Thinking of you. ((hugs))

♥ T

Staci said...

Praying for you...regardless of the outcome!

Jodi said...

I will be waiting for an update! I hope your gut feeling is right!!! I'm thinking of you!

With my miscarriage my numbers were going up slowly then down a bit, then up...then finally down down down. It sucks so bad.

Lisa said...

Hoping for the best.

Mrs.Joe said...

I'm hanging in there with you - praying that this is not really the end. Thinking of you.

Nathan and Megan said...

Praying, Erin! I am so glad you are doing this. I've always heard that you can get a false negative but not a false positive. This has me concerned for if/when I do become pregnant. Do you believe the test or not? I am confused, too. Anxious for your insight & answers!

Jen said...

Morning Erin,

I am hoping and praying right along with you. I know that last thing you want is false hope right now, but I've been thinking (a lot lately) and honestly I know how hard it is to get let down, but personally I would rather hold onto that "thin string of hope" then hold on to pain...I really am hopeful for you. I think some women's hormones just don't rise as quickly as "they should." Sending lots of love and hope your way:)

Jessica@The Southern Belle Baby said...

Erin, I pray that this draw gives you good news. I feel the same way you do, and I am hoping beyond hope that you've got one sticky baby in there. I will keep praying HARD for you guys! Much love to you.

Its A Corny Life... said...

Erin, hang in there! My betas were 11, 23, 36, 104 and 1182. They told me to stop all meds and I chose not to and now I have Abby (and Madison in Heaven). My betas were low and not doubling and they had no hope but I did and it turned out I was losing a triplet. Please don't give up hope. Miracles happen all the time. My babies are proof of that.

Hugs from the West Coast.

A.V.A said...

I have a friend who was told at 6 weeks she was having a M/C. She went in for a blood draw I guess to make 100% sure her numbers were dropping but they weren't. The DRs were baffled and realized she had been pregnant with twins and M/C one of them. She went on to have a healthy baby boy 9 months later. I will keep thinking of you. I check your blog constantly!

Brice Barnes said...

do what feels right to you. i hope you are right and just losing a twin. thinking about you.

want2bmom.blogspot.com

JB said...

Praying for you today. I've been a quiet follower of your blog since you were pregnant with Trevor.
God has a plan, trust Him.
JB

Jodi said...

Waiting to read an update! Hoping hoping for good news!!!

Dave and Elaine said...

Erin,
This is the first comment I've been able to leave through all this...First, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Getting another beta today is good. Something didn't seem right to me either when you still had a beta of 200+ but the nurse said you needed to stop meds. Thinking and praying for you as you get the beta today and have a clearer picture what is going on.

twondra said...

Been thinking and praying for you all day.

Triple Threat said...

thinking of you guys. waiting for an update, hope all is well. Good for you for asking for that next Beta. Prayers!

Jessica said...

Checking in to see how everything went today - many continued prayers for you!

The Pifer's said...

Praying sooooo hard for you sweet friend!

HUGS!

Love ya!