Wednesday, February 16, 2011

It's Over

The nurse just called. My beta dropped today, to 253.

I am supposed to stop all meds and go back on Monday to make sure its still decreasing.

I asked if there is any chance I could just be losing a twin and she said no.

I am crushed.

90 comments:

Triple Threat said...

This is awful. I'm not sure what to say other than that I'm thinking of you and your beautiful family. I'm so sorry.

t.b.f.love. said...

I am so sorry for your loss; I actually have tears in my eyes. I am praying for peace for your family.

Kendall said...

I am so sorry Erin. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. I'lll be praying for you and your family.

The Bryant Family said...

I am so sorry to hear your news. You and your sweet family are in my thoughts. Go give Trevor lots of hugs and kisses.

Erica said...

Oh my gosh Erin, this is heart wrenching. I am praying for you right now, I hope you find some comfort.

Laura said...

I am so sorry. Thinking and praying for and your family.

Hillary said...

I'm beyond crushed for you...:(. Praying for your strength and comfort!

Sarah said...

So sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts!

Mama KC said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Sadly I know what that feels like too, and I'm sad every time I hear of someone else going through it. :hugs::

Jen said...

I am so sorry Erin.

Beth said...

I'm so sorry. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make this situation any easier. You worked so hard for this...and it just doesn't make sense. I hope you can find courage and healing during this difficult time. Praying for you.

The Harrison's said...

Oh no. I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

Carol said...

Oh, dear. I'm so sorry.

Nathan and Megan said...

I am so sorry. HUGS!

Megan said...

oh no. i am praying for you honey.

Jody said...

I am thinking of you and your family Erin. I am at a loss for words and I know that no matter how many times someone says they are sorry, it doesn't make it hurt any less, so I am just going to say that you are in my thoughts and prayers. May you find peace with this. <3

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Hugs to you.

Amber said...

Oh Erin. I'm SO sorry.

April said...

:( I am so sorry. I don't even know what else to say.

Mindy said...

Oh Erin, my heart is breaking for you. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Jill said...

Shit.

That just blows.

I'm so sorry that this one isn't working and didn't work. What garbage!?!?

Why do our bodies do this to us and why can't it just work the old fashion way?

Seriously not what I was expecting to hear from you today!

I'm so sorry. So sorry.

Allison said...

Erin, I'm so sorry. There are no words. Praying for you and Tom!

J said...

I'm sorry for your loss. (((Hugs!!!)))

The Dimino's said...

I am speechless. Heartbroken for you! I am so sorry. You and Tome will be in my prayers.

Angelwingsbaby said...

I am so sorry hun,my heart sank when I read your post.Please know I am here for you. -Megan ((hugs))

Natalie said...

Praying for you Erin...so sorry!

Mandy said...

My heart is breaking for you. I know there are no words we can give to comfort you. My thoughts and prayers are with you

Jodi said...

I'm so sorry! So there is NO chance it's a loss of a twin? This is so not the news I was hoping to hear! You're in my thoughts!

Megan said...

I am so, so sorry, Erin...

Erin said...

I am crushed for you and your family. I am praying for you.

Emily said...

I am so sorry for you all. I am praying for comfort and peace in this pain.

Samantha said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and your family.

Mush said...

Oh no that's terrible. So sorry honey. Thinking of you xxx

Pete, Alison and Charlie said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry. x

Stace said...

Oh, Erin, I'm so sorry. xo

Jen said...

Erin, my heart is breaking for you. I know no words can take the hurt away. Praying for peace for you. You will stay in my thoughts and near my heart.

beth ewing said...

well crap (i wanted to say something worse but decided to refrain). i'm so sorry girl. i'm praying for a miracle although i understand that is a long shot. so i'll also pray for peace for you...the kind of peace that can only come from a loving God that is holding you right now.

Sophie said...

I'm SO sorry. I came on here to check your amazing blog and felt sick at the title, now I have tears in my eyes. You are so strong, give Trevor a huge hug. I will be praying for you and thinking of you X

ASHLEY said...

I am so sorry, I know the pain of miscarriage. Its gonna be tough but you'll make it through. My prayers are with you and your husband.

twondra said...

my heart sank and I have tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry sweetie. Sending you so many hugs and love. ((HUGS))

Courtney said...

Oh Erin, I'm so sorry. This is just not how I was hoping it would go. Don't you think sometimes (only sometimes) our mothers and grandmothers before us had it easier because they didn't even know they were pregnant for like 2 or 3 months? They just had to guess? I know they did have the reproductive 'help' we've needed, but they didn't have all the heartbreak of failed cycles and worrying over numbers.
I'm so sorry.

Christa said...

Oh God I'm so sorry, Erin.

Nic said...

I am sorry. Please make sure you have scan to check before you do anything drastic, just to make sure.

Beth said...

I'm so sorry! Sending hugs and you guys will be in the thoughts and prayers!

Jessica@The Southern Belle Baby said...

Oh no, Erin. I am so, so sorry. I will be praying for you guys. I wish there was something I could do for you. This is horrible.

Angela said...

OH NO!!! So so sorry.

The Hudack Family said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I actually had our second IUI this cycle and finally got a positive after a year of trying on Monday but my betas were super low and they said it wasn’t viable. It’s been the hardest/longest week already. Stay strong and know we are all praying for you.

BabyWid said...

I'm so sorry, my heart is aching for you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers today!

Tabitha said...

(GASP) No!!!
I'm devestated FOR you...and praying so hard that God heals you quickly and brings you and your family peace and understanding during this time (((HUGS))) I'm so very sorry my dear...

mindye said...

Just out here saying a prayer for you & your husband.
MindyE

The Penny-Wise Mama said...

I'm so sorry, that's truly devastating. I will be praying that a miracle happens. Stay strong!!

Heather said...

I am so so sorry. I just don't even have the words....big hugs to you and your family.

Just Believing said...

Are they really really sure...it only dropped a teenty tiny bit...Believe in miracles girl! Will be praying for you guys but don't lose faith....Thinking ofyou guys!

Alyssa said...

I am so so sorry.

Tracy said...

Oh my goodness..I am so sorry for your loss =( You're sweet family will be in my prayers.
nandtandbandb.blogspot

Brittany said...

I don't know what to say.....I have followed your journey for a long time and I am speechless. No words, just prayers for your sweet family.

e Daly said...

Shedding tears for you and your family. I am so sorry. It just sucks :(

Shelby said...

I am so sorry. It just isn't fair. Thinking of you and your family.

Beth said...

I am just so very sad for you and your family, and I'm so sorry for the pain you're in! Sending prayers and support your way!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry....there really are no words right now....I'm just so so sorry.....

Lori B. said...

Like others, I don't know what else to say other than I am so incredibly sorry. I am praying for you and your family!

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

Thinking about you, and keeping your family in my Prayers. I'm so sorry that you both are going through this.

Hugs,
Hannah

Bobbi said...

My heart is breaking with yours. I'm so terribly sorry. This whole time I was sooo convinced both of those babies stuck because your numbers were so high. I will lift you up in my prayers, as always. Hang in there, friend. I'm so very sorry.

Single Mama said...

Sorry for your loss. Saying prayers for you & your family.

Mary Louis Quinn said...

I have been reading your blog for a while but have never commented. When I saw this post, my heart just sunk and it made me want to cry for your sweet family. I will be praying for you.

Demetrius' mommy. said...

I'm so sorry ..
I'm in tears for you..

Brittany said...

I am so, so sorry Erin. Heartbroken for you all.

Ashley said...

Oh, Erin! I am sooo sorry! :( My heart hurts for you. Sending you hugs.

Charity said...

I am currently going through a miscarriage and know the hurt and sorrow you are feeling. It is a confusing time for sure. I felt fresh hurt when I read your post. The roller coaster of emotions seems to get a little less with each passing day. I am so sorry for your loss.

Cori said...

Oh Erin I am so, so sorry to hear this. I had tears in my eyes once I read the title. I am hoping you and Tom are able to find comfort during this time.

Lindsay said...

Praying for you and your sweet family

Amber said...

I am just heart broken for you. That's the only thing I know to say.

Ella said...

I am so SO sorry. I wish this wasn't happening to you and your beautiful family. I've been there and I know how badly it hurts. Thinking of you.

Jennie said...

I've been following your blog for a few months now. I am so sorry.

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry honey! I can feel your pain since I'm still experiencing my miscarriage. I know it has to be worse since you put in two embroys and I wasn't expecting my pregnacy to happen...my heart is broken for you. If you want to talk you can email me. ((HUGS))

Kahla said...

Oh Erin, I'm so sorry. I have not had time to read all the other posts but let me tell just tell you my story, not to give you false hope, but just to let you know that I truly think it could be a twin. When I got pg w/Chase we found out at 9dp3dt. My BETA was 39, then it went to 86 two days later, and two days after that it was 85. We were told it was a m/c or vanishing twin. When we went back in two days later it had nearly tripled. Ultrasound confirmed we had lost a twin. So that could still be the case in my book. Now fast forward to IVF #4. BETA was awesome and two days later had dropped (don't remember exact numbers). Two days later it was up again and our RE said we had lost a twin. Two days later it was back down and we lost the second baby. I honestly think it could be either situation for you and I'm sending so many prayers it's a vanishing twin. May the next two days go very quickly. I've been in your shoes and it's such a horrible place to be. (((HUGS)))

Kahla said...

I just reread and saw they aren't bringing you in until Monday. I would insist on a BETA on Friday, four days is way too long to make you wait. I would tell them I'd pay out of pocket if you had to.

Karen said...

Erin, I'm a frequent reader, but never comment. i wanted to de-lurk to tell you how sorry I am. I was my BFP the day after yours, and today i started spotting and am pretty much I am having a miscarriage. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Your family is precious.

Karen

Brittney said...

How very heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for you and your sweet family.

Mrs.Joe said...

I'm so sorry Erin. This was not what I expected to see today. Praying for you and your family.

Debbie said...

So sorry.

nicarv said...

My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. No words to say. My prayers are with you and your husband.

Cherish This Life! said...

Oh I am so sad to read this. I had that same call last year and it's awful knowing there is nothing you can do. I am praying girl, I pray for peace for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Kalle said...

Thinking of you and your family today. I know there are no words, just know that we're all here to support and cry with you and do anything we can to help through the virtual world.

Jessica said...

I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. I know that your heart is completely broken, and there isn't anything I can say to make it better. Many prayers for peace for you. I'm sorry :(/

WantWait&Pray said...

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. I can't believe with such a strong, big beta that it's decreasing. I don't think I've actually seen this (and being from an IF world...we see just about anything).
I'm so sorry!!!

Tiffany said...

Erin I saw this yesterday and I was just crushed, my heart ached and ached for you all day. I wish I had the words to make you feel better. All I can say is that it is not fair and that I am praying for your strength at this time. I wish I could take away your pain. Kiss and hold that sweet Trevor tight today my friend, he WILL be a big Brother I KNOW it.

ks said...

Oh I am so sorry! I was really hoping you would get some clear numbers. I do agree with another poster though I think they are jumping the gun a bit. I hope there is a miracle here on the horizon for you and your hubby. thinking of you and sending you strength to make it through this.

Jessica aka Mommy said...

I am so sorry for your loss. :( I have been in your shoes...almost your story exactly. Both my kids are IVF babies. I had two losses between the two successful pregnancies. Hang in there. I wish I could give you a hug....nothing will take your pain away but time will make it feel a little better.

jenn said...

i am so sorry....damn infertility rollercoaster