Sunday, June 27, 2010

Numero Dos

Okay, Ive gotta be honest here. I REALLY want to be pregnant again. Like, where I get sad when I realize I am not and I have no idea when I will be. Pregnant bellies dont bother me like they did before..but it still stings to see them. And boy do you see them in the summer time!


I know I have a new baby. He is young and consuming our every second right now. But, I want more. Im greedy and needy. I want to expand our family. I want to be pregnant. I love being pregnant. I miss those kicks, baby hiccups, exciting appointments, sweet comments, etc.

That being said..I am terrified of the process of getting pregnant. Trevor took us 25 months and IVF. I cant stop wondering that this next baby will take. I have no control, just like Trevor. I just have hope, prayers and a great support system. :)

My biggest fear is a future FET not working. Those four little frozen possibilites are..babies. Kinda Trevors twins..since they were concieved on the same day. If they transfer two into me in the next few months and they dont stick..I cant imagine how thatd feel. We were so fortunate for our first IVF cycle to work. I feel like were playing with fire in expecting our first FET to work too. And knowing that those embryos are just like Trevor. Ouch, that would be tough to get past.

I am anxious and excited to start the process of another baby. I just wish I knew there was a happy ending, just like Trevor.

13 comments:

Joy@WhenDoesDaddyComeHome said...

I'm in the same boat and I have THREE girls (and two angel babies). Daniel and I have started talking about baby #4. We want a large family, he's aching for a son and wants to try again to see if we have one. So I think we're back on the TTC bandwagon. You guys can always just give it a go! I know some infertiles can become fertile after a pregnancy so I say give it a whirl on your own for a bit and see what happens!

Saffy said...

Joy's thoughts on giving it a whirl seem pretty good to me - at least you'll have fun trying :)

And you're not greedy - you're a great mom. The more the merrier I say!!

智能智能 said...

知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。....................................................................

Beth said...

I'm soooo in your boat. I'd love to be pregnant again, but it's just not in the cards for us right now. My son just turned 2, and it might be another year or 2 before we'll even think about another pregnancy.

Anyway, our son was the result of FET. We conceived twins our first go-round with IVF, but sadly they died shortly after their birth. We got pregnant w/our son 8 months later (w/FET) and life's been great ever since! I totally understand your fears. Take confidence they (fertility specialists/embryologists) only freeze the best of the best embryos. They do this to ensure the best odds for successful FETS. Good luck! I'm sure all will turn out beautifully.

PS It's not that you're greedy/needy. You're heart won't feel complete until you're family feels complete. I LOVE my son to pieces; he's my world... but I need, crave, pray for one more baby :)

Jill said...

Sucks sucks sucks sucks...

Melissa said...

My hubby and I talke all the time on if/when we should do IVF again. I really want to because I want a larger family and to give my daughter a sibling but we had none to freeze so have to start from square one again. Its not cheap and I stay at home with my little girl now so we don't have the 2 incomes....what to do...what to do. :o)

Amber said...

I loved being pregnant, too! But, I'm not quite ready to jump back into the TTC world yet. Hope your FET works the first time, too!

Mama Dub said...

I think that you are meant to have babies... it's totally going to work :)

Mrs. D. said...

I guess I can't totally say I understand, but I can say go with your gut feeling. When it's time..it's time.

Jessica@The Southern Belle Baby said...

There will be another miracle for you guys. I really think there will be. :)

I don't think you're greedy at all. You are doing what you were meant to do and you love it. There's nothing wrong with that!

Finally a Mommy! said...

I completely understand how you feel. I feel the SAME way. We are so ready for baby number two. I hope he or she just comes without any fertility treatments. But what if... What if we have to go through everything we did last time, and what if it doesn't work? SCARY!!! I feel so thankful to have Stella and every moment of every day I look at her and just feel so blessed. I also look at her and think, oh my gosh, I want to give her a brother or sister, what if I can't? We need to be positive...but darn it, why aren't we already pregnant with our second babies? Why?

Tiffany said...

I am greedy and needy too! I want to be pregnant again too...

Jen said...

We have also started talking about number two....I guess we will see what happens!