Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year

Thank you all for your hugs and kind words.

I finally have a bit of time to reflect on what happened.

So, Christmas morning, we gathered at my parents house like we normally do. Delaney was so anxious to get the present opening going. She directed my parents to sit down on the floor and open the first gift. All 14 of us sat around the tree and witnessed my parents open a box with a positive pregnancy test in it. I was shocked. I repeated, "You're pregnant?!" five or six times and then jumped up and hugged them. It was such a special way to start our day. Of course, the new baby is all we talked about the rest of the day..and the following days.

My sister spots with all her kids. A few days later, she knew something was different. She starting bleeding more and had cramping. She texted me in the morning, saying she was sure she miscarried. Miscarried? You? I was in denial and told her to wait to see what the doc said.

They went that afternoon and it was confirmed.

Here I sit, the "other sister." The sister that doesn't know what to say to make it better. The sister who wants her to know how badly this hurts me too. She sat in this spot for the 2 years we tried for Trevor. I always knew she was there when I needed her. Now its my turn..

This is a snippit of what she wrote on her blog:

"The kids are taking it better than expected. Delaney was so sweet when I told her. She asked Eric to take her to church so that she can pray for a healthy baby and for Mommy. Brady sat next to her with his hands folded and repeated every word that she prayed, it was very touching.

Many times in my life I have questioned when exactly a baby is a baby… From the moment of conception? Or after the first trimester? I have my answer. It is a baby from the moment that it is dreamed about in your little heart. I knew that this baby was gonna be a part of us before it was even there. And therefore, I am heartbroken and deeply saddened by this loss."


We all are, Sissy. We all are.

*Heres to everyone reading this blog, who has a dream in their heart. I hope 2010 fulfills that dream.*

9 comments:

Amber said...

I just started following your blog. I am truly sorry for your family's loss. What a sad way to start the new year. Best of luck to you and your sister. Thanks for the update.

Stacey said...

I am so sorry for your sister's loss. I will pray for her and her family. And she's right, a baby is a baby as soon as you get that little twinkle in your eye.

Ashley said...

I am so sorry this has happened to your sister and your family. I can't even imagine the sadness your sister must be feeling.:(

The York's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The York's said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile, but have remained silent for no particular reason. Your sister and her family are in my thoughts and prayers. Miscarriages are extremely difficult and hard to understand. It's also hard on you, not knowing what to say. There really isn't anything that anyone can say to take the pain away. In my own personal loss, my faith in the Lord helped me tremendously. I hope she can find the same comfort.

May 2010 bring much happiness (and new beginnings) to her, and you and your family as well. Your son is adorable! Children are miracles...

amanda said...

i'm so sorry that you and your sister have to go through this. please feel free to pass on my email if she just needs to 'talk'. it's a stinky thing to go through and i know it all too well! praying for you all!!

Joy (When Does Daddy Come Home?!) said...

My little girls were very sweet when I miscarried too. They prayed for a healthy baby and she's laying here on my lap as I type this. I hope that 2010 is a year of miracles for so many who are tired of holding out hope. *HUGS*

twondra said...

Wow. I'm so sorry for your loss, Erin. I can't imagine. I'm thinking and praying for your family. (((HUGS)))

beth ewing said...

so sorry girl. a miscarriage is so hard no matter what (remember i had a child when i miscarried but it still hurt) and i can't imagine how hard this is for the kids. just be there and love her...that's the best thing you can do.