Sunday, April 19, 2009

11 Weeks

Here is the temporary belly shot. Tommy has been at our house getting it ready to put on the market. So, no good pictures yet. Ill be sure to take some tomorrow. For the time being, here is a mirror pic of me. Yes, I know its huge. Everyone said I would get big early..they were right.
Please excuse the dirty mirror. I cleaned it after this was taken. :)


How far along? 11 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss:
Maternity clothes?
Nope
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: Much to my surprise, -2 lbs
Best moment this week: Last PIO injection on Wednesday
Movement: Too early for that
Food cravings: Nothing major this week
Gender: Still feel girl, but for the first time, had boy thoughts
Labor Signs: Nope
Belly Button in or out? Innie
What I miss: I'll admit, I would have enjoyed a beer while out last night
What I am looking forward to: End of first tri
Weekly Wisdom: Stop browsing baby sections until we know the sex!
Milestones: Friends loved on my belly for the first time :)

I feel like I am in an odd place both physically and mentally. I never thought Id be one who had body issues while pregnant, but its happening. I have been thin my entire life and don't know any different. I am scared I will gain weight everywhere and not just in my stomach. Plus, I had my belly button pierced on the top and bottom(cute at the time, but dumb teenager!) so, I have scars. I am scared as I grow the scars will look more disgusting than they do now. Thus why I haven't taken any straight on belly shots yet. I have been self-conscious my entire life and am adjusting to dealing with these issues.

As far as the mental "rut" goes, I don't know where I belong. I still cringe at pregnant bellies when we are out. I feel like I fit in with infertile people more than with expecting women. Tom thinks its weird that I still refer to myself as infertile. But I am. I am a pregnant infertile. I told him infertility really did a number on me. I will never be the same innocent and naive woman I was at age 20. It forced me to grow up and make huge decisions and ask questions I never imagined. I know I am a better person today because of it, but goodess, we really went to hell and back. That leaves me with this question-If in some dream world, I was able to choose between going through the struggle we did or get pregnant easily, what would I choose?


To be answered another day..

18 comments:

twondra said...

I love your belly pics. :)

I've asked myself that question and I know I wouldn't give up the life and friends I've met so to me it's an easy answer. :)

((((HUGS))))

Charity said...

Wow, you are definitely showing! And you look great. I remember those self-consious feelings the first time around too. Once you have the baby and snap back to normal, you will look back and laugh at yourself. It is so temporary and I promise you will go back to normal. Hmmm...you are carrying kind of what I consider "boy"...we'll see!

I just posted some tacky mirror pics too. They are funny but I feel even sillier asking my husband to play photographer ;)

Ashley said...

Honey!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your belly!! Don't be self conscious about it. My SIL was the same way about her piercing but it looks fine it never looked weird or anything. She worried about her weight too but now she is even littlier after having two kids since she runs around so much after them;) Enjoy your belly....I think pregnant women are sooo BEAUTIFUL:) You look beautiful. Don't ever think otherwise!! LOVE YA

Bri said...

I think you look so cute! I had a piercing (oh to be 18!)too and it ended up looking like a 2nd belly button, but it is looking normal again now. I also early on felt like I just looked like I ate too many donuts instead of looking pregnant! I started wearing maternity shirts and that helped :o)I also had huge guilt over being pregnant and my infertility-it really is something that becomes a part of you-I totally understand:o) Lots of love!!!!!

Staci said...

I was also very self-conscious growing up because I constantly struggled with my weight. During my first pregnancy I gained weight all over and retained so much fluid I looked about ready to pop. I was even more self-conscious and didn't want even my husband to see me. You know what changed all that??? LABOR :) When I was in active labor and trying to get that baby out I didn't care who saw what or how much! With babies 2 and 3 I didn't have the benefit of pain meds so I REALLY didn't care. You look great and whether you gain weight all over or just have a "basketball belly", the end result is what you are after. You've already endured so much to get where you are, what's a few extra pounds...right? :)

Mrs. D. said...

You look FAB!

Stephanie said...

I think you're looking great!!!!!!!

Mush said...

Pregnancy will do strange things to you physically and mentally. In my case I find the mental aspect the hardest. The hormones play havoc with you! Please be reassured that it will pass, but that your life is going to change, for the better of course. It takes some getting used to.

The physical side also takes some getting used to. If you have read my blog you will realise that I obsess about how much weight I'm putting on, but in the end it doesn't really matter too much because as soon as the baby is here, I can get back to being healthier and will loose the weight.

It's easy to say but after your struggle you should just really try to cherish every bit of it, good and bad, especially first time around.

Good days and bad days will come and go and you will make it out the other side, a happy, healthy, Mummy.

If you ever want to talk about it all, I will glady listen and offer any advice I can. xxx

Courtney and the Boys said...

Hi there! I have been reading your blog for a few weeks and just had to become your 100th follower. :) Congrats on your pregnancy and I just love how you're documenting everything. What a treasure this will be for your little peanut some day. You can even have it printed into a book for him/her (yes...I said "him"). :)

Courtney

Tiffany said...

My answer in SO many ways is yes, although I wish our journey didn't cost so much and take so long, but I feel I am a better person because of it and I feel I will be a better Mother because of it. We are both obviously in the same place. I was surrounded by pregnant women yesterday at a Softball game and I found myself being so jelous of them. When will it go away?

BTW, your belly really popped. So cute and I feel ya on the gaining weight, I posted awhile back that I lost 80 pounds on Weight Watchers and it is VERY hard to see it come back, but I lost it once and I will do it again. Besides it is for my babies and the best thing I can do for them is gain weight. They need it, they don't get as long to cook and they have to share. Heheheeh :-)

Christa @ Quintooples said...

Even if you go on to have five kids (like me) you will still consider yourself an infertile.

I still have a hard time relating to the uber-fertile.

amanda said...

i love the belly pictures. i have not been 'thin' by anymeans through out my life, but never struggled with feeling tubby during pregnancy, it's after that it hit me. just enjoy it!! it's the only time in your life you feel pretty 'fat'. and you know...afterwards when i have my 'flabby strechy marked belly' i look at my kiddos and know it was all so worth it. all of it. keep on keeping on!!

The Ryan Family said...

Your belly is ADORABLE hun! REALLY! I think that your feelings are normal given the road that you have had to go down to have this peanut.

Any baby weight that you gain will come off quickly after the baby's here. I'm sure of it.

Enjoy this time with everything you have. It's truly a gift.

Big Hugs,

Angie

Mrs. Hammer said...

Cute tummy. I get where you are coming from on the pregnant infertile. It gives you an appreciation for the miracle of life and just how truely amazing pregnancy is. Not only that but you have to have a lot of discussions about the morality of all the IVF procedures etc. Gone is the "let's just have a baby" fund mentality. But in the end I think I will make us all better mothers, better women and better people in general.

Tera said...

I've always been a thin person too, and finding myself with a little pooch was hard...especially since we didn't tell anyone until 13 weeks. Once you get the full pregnant belly though, you'll be so proud of the belly that you'll careless how much wt you gain! :) Belly ring scars here too...again, so proud of the belly, I didn't care if there was a mark there too!
As others have mentioned, you'll never feel like you relate to a fertile person...even if you get pregnant easily the next time. I don't know that it makes us "better" mothers, but I have a feeling we take those rough moments of 3am feedings or 2 hrs of crying a little easier than they do.

Stace said...

I know what you mean. It's such a weird place when you've come off the infertility treatments and find yourself pregnant.

But I know for me, I wouldn't change anything that has happened. It was a LONG road (much, much longer than I would have liked) but it has gotten us where we are. And, no matter how close I feel that I was to my husband and family, I definitely think that the pain and heartbreak and waiting of the past few years has brought us so much closer-- and made me that much stronger. In the end it will be worth it, and I wouldn't change anything.

Love the belly shot. :)

Joy said...

Awww- I think we all struggle with the weight thing! But if you eat like your normally do and just add one extra snack a day it'll be sufficient in giving baby the proper nutrients they need!

And remember- you can always lose the weight afterwards. I don't have the money or time to visit a gym so I bought some workout DVDs
(30 Day Shred) and joined sparkpeople.com that I will pick back up after I have baby.

Enjoy the bump! It'll only last a 6 more months!

Dawn said...

Hi, I enjoy reading your blog and following your little peanut.

I just wanted to say, try to embrace the way the body changes. It will be over before you know it. I was so glad I got my tripod out and took pics of myself one evening when I was around 7.5 months. I tried to make them look like the professional style you see. They didn't turn out too bad for doing it myself and I am so glad I did it. Sadly that first pregnancy was the only one that went all the way ( I lost 1 at 20weeks) so I am so glad that I have the pictures. If even just for my own personal knowledge.
And my navel was pierced at one time too and it didn't look that bad and at full term my belly was HUGE!

Just enjoy it, there is something so beautiful growing in there and if you have to get a 'little' ugly for it, it's all worth it in the end. :)