Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fifty Fifty Chance

My goal of remaining optimistic throughout our IVF has become too difficult. I can't shake the feeling that we only have a 50% chance of this working. After our 1st cycle, all the insurance money will be gone. There will be no second chance.

IVF is such a huge process. I have yet to accept that we are going through IVF right now. I don't know when it will seem real. Perhaps retrieval day?

It is hard to believe that in one month, I will either be the happiest and most grateful person in the entire world..OR I will be infertile and in debt with nowhere to turn.

I am falling apart.

25 comments:

Evan Nicole said...

I am confident that this will be it for you...you def deserve it! Keep your head up and try to be as optimistic as you can. 50/50 is one in two, which is WAY better than IUI which was 1 in 5. You've got this girlie!!

Laura said...

Still praying for ya! Hang in there!

Sarah said...

One step at a time sweetie! I know how hard it is to not look ahead... but try to focus all your precious energy on the moment at hand. This is a remarkable time in your life! The time you and Tom are making a baby! Take a deep breath and know that you are being prayed for!

WantWait&Pray said...

I know those feelings of complete disbelief that this is happening....that you are actually going through with it all. I said the same exact things..."When will it feel real...when we go in for the retreival, transfer, blood test??"
Take one day at a time, concentrate on positive thinking and know that beyond this situation there is a plan for you and your husband and you're on the path towards it. Whatever the outcome, it's all part of this bigger plan.
As far as your 50/50 chance....it's like looking at the glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty- and I am willing to bet you're a "half full" kinda gal....postive vibes!!!!!!!!!

Mush said...

This is easier said then done, but try not to let it consume you. Staying as relaxed and as chilled out as possible is the best thing for you and your body. I am not an expert but you hear hundreds of stories of people being told they are infertile, only to fall pregnant when they stop "trying".

I realise this is a very difficult time for you, and I really do hope you get to experience what it is like to be a Mummy. Good luck and I will keep an eye on your blog.

twondra said...

Oh, sweetie, I've been in your shoes. It's such a huge risk to take for such "low" odds.

I tried to focus on the women I knew it had worked for. I knew quite a few that it had worked for and I tried to stay focused on them.

No matter what the outcome, God knows it already...it's already in the cards, so it doesn't do much good to worry about something that is already planned.

Like I should talk though. :) I'm the biggest worrywart ever.

Hang in there hon! We're all here for you!!

The Patterson's said...

I know it's tough, but try to keep your head up. Just know that you are doing all you can. I'll be praying for you!

Ashley said...

Just keep praying and try to stay postive!! I KNOW you will be holding a baby in your arms this year...I just have that feeling. I am here praying for you:)

Dan and Gretchen said...

Oh Erin, You are getting WAY TOO far ahead of yourself. Take a step back, and allow yourself to relax...you are putting way too much pressure on yourself.
Remember in the event that it doesn't work on the first try...and you have to do it a 2nd time, you have a lot less cost (as long as you have some frozen embryos).

Be Kind to yourself, and just TRY to stay positive. We're praying for you.

carla said...

Honey just go ahead and fall.....into Jesus's arms. Let it all go, give it to him and don't take it back. He will guide, comfort and protect you. He knows your every desire and He hears all the prayers. Doctors treat but God heals. Best of wishes and prayers Carla

MOM said...

Oh! I feel for you. Try to stay positive. Good things will come for you.

Tiffany said...

Oh honey, just take it one day at a time. 50/50 is good, and I am PROOF that it CAN work. Hey, and you will most likely be lucky enough to freeze some. A FET is WAY WAY WAY cheaper than a fresh. You gotta go for it babe!

Mimi said...

Stay positive sweetheart! This will all work out for you. I am right there with you. I have one chance with my insurance!!! I hope you can find peace and enjoy the journey. Hugs

Kami

Charity said...

Here is maybe a little bit of optimism for you...those 50/50 stats are for all women who attempt this right? You are young and healthy so I bet your odds are better!

You are smart to not be telling yourself it is a sure thing but you have every right to be optimistic and positive. It is a lot of pressure but just go through the process one step at a time.

One last thing...no matter the odds there is a chance. I really hope his works for you!

courtney said...

I'm praying for happy and baby for you!

Happily Ever After said...

Stay positive! Just think about it working and how happy and exciting that will be. You are in my prayers. :)

Kriss said...

Hugs. -kriss

Heather said...

Still praying for you! Just hang in there and give your worries to the Lord and lean on Him to carry you! There's a song by John Waller called "While I'm waiting" that is a great song. You should check it out sometime! I hope and pray that God will make your dream of being a mommy come true!

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave and Elaine said...

Chin up! We are all praying you through this.

Phil 4:13 I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me stength.

You have alot of things in your favor as far as IVF being successful for you. Hang in there and keep us posted!!

Dianne said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are definetly not alone. Try not to worry what insurance won't cover, instead be thankful for what it has covered. Also you might have embryos to freeze! If that is the case then your second chance if you need one, will be a fraction of the cost!!! Good luck!

Momma said...

I'm going along with everyone.
Stay Positive. I know its hard and you're probably tired of hearing everyone say that, but Gods will shall be done. I'm praying for your future peanut(s)Sending prayers and baby dust your way.

Mrs. Hammer said...

It is totally human to feel this way but know that you are being surrounded by the prayers of all this wonderful women and I'm sure a bunch of your IRL family and friends. Odds of it working at 50% is higher odds than on an average cycle or IUI cycle. So your odds of getting pregnant are at it's highest yet!! Hang in there, your peanut is waiting for you as much as you are waiting for them.

C. Nash said...

My husband and I were given less than 30% chance of success with IVF. We had only two embryos survive to transfer. Today, I have one month old twin boys from our first attempt. Hang in there, it can happen.

♥Tabitha♥ said...

It's easy to get discouraged, I know I'm dreading having to do IVF because I know I'll be thinking the very same thoughts that you wrote about in this entry! We actually don't have any insurence coverage at all, so it kills me to think about saving up all that money and then having it not work...but we just keep praying for God to guide our paths and we keep the faith. It's really all we can do! You'll be in my prayers!!