Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Questions and Answers

Part 1. The update about my pregnant friend-
I was unable to meet with her the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. She was having dinner with family and I was packing for our trip. I decided to give her a call last week and express my concerns. She said the father does know and has made it very clear he will sign away all his rights. I asked how sure she was of wanting to give the baby up. She said 99% sure. I pointed out her opinion may change when she grows and feels life inside her. She said she didn't think that would happen. She knows she is too young and cant give her baby a good life. *Ironically, I am a few months younger than her.* Moving on, I asked, "What if your family wants you to keep it when you tell them?" She laughed and said that would definitely not be their reaction. She thinks they will want her to give the baby up just like her birth parents did. I went on to ask what would happen if the time came and we couldn't take the baby..due to a pregnancy or other reason, would she still give it up? She said yes, she would likely go through the same agency she was adopted through. I pretty much ended the conversation there, as it was enough to process. She goes in the 19th for another ultrasound. I told her to call me if she needed anything and we can talk again over Christmas break. There is so much more to cover before we start considering this. I don't know how involved she would want to be in the life of the child. I don't even know my own feelings on the subject. I'm going to let time pass and try not to worry about it too much. Easier said than done!

Part 2. IVF Questions-
I know so little about IVF, I don't even know what questions to ask. I will try to break down what I know and hope you amazing women can fill in the blanks for me.
Tom and I have a IVF consult with the doctor for January 5th. We will sign papers and talk about my plan, I'm guessing. I think there are some tests that need to be done before you start the process. I have no idea what, though.
I know you go on birth control for a while to suppress your system. From what I understand, this can be anywhere from a few weeks to over a month. Is anything else done during this time? Or are you just sitting around, taking medicine that prevents pregnancy?
Here is where I am unclear of the process. You start injections-Lupron-after your birth control? These are twice a day, right? Do you do anything else? Ugh, I am uninformed!
Then what? You get checked often I am guessing to see follicle counts, like with IUI's? The retrieval is scheduled and you go back 3-5 days later for the transfer, right? And you're supposed to be on bed-rest for a few days, I think. How long do you have to wait to find out?

In the paperwork, we have an option to cryopreserve a specimen as a back up for the retrieval day. Apparently this is $250 and not covered by insurance. I am trying to decide if its necessary. We have never had a problem with Toms numbers, but it may be a good idea for the sense of security. It would be horrible to go through this long process and have low numbers. Also, any ideas how much it is to freeze your embryos? Is this covered by any insurance? It makes sense to do that in case the first one doesn't work. Did all of you do that?

I wasn't kidding-I know nothing! A few of you said I could email you to talk about your experiences. I really appreciate that, and if the offer still stands, can I have your email addresses again? Thank you!

I understand everyone process is specific to their body, but any information/tips would be wonderful! I want to be "in-the-know" when I go to my appt. on the 5th.

I start my injections for my final IUI tomorrow. It would truly be a miracle if this one worked and I was able to cancel my appt. Although, I said that last time and it didn't happen. I am still trying to locate an ounce of hope for this cycle. Maybe when I go in Friday and see how many follicles we are working with, I'll feel better.


WantWait&Pray said...

Please feel free to email me- having one IVF under my belt- I learned quite a bit!

Email is: nmelliott2@hotmail.com

I am happy to help make this part of the journey a little less confusing. And if you're anything like me, I want answers SOON so I can prepare mentally and physically for the challenges that lie ahead.

Evan Nicole said...

Hey girlie!! I am starting IVF in January as well, so we will have to keep up with each other...you have the same questions as me!!

As you learn stuff, or just wanna talk, you can email me at enc8283@yahoo.com. Good Luck with this last IUI! I hope this is it for you!!!

Kalle said...

Erin, you truly are a strong person. Taking on some very heavy emotional things at a young age. I don't know anything about IVF and have not had to endure anything you have but I do know that the less pressure you place on yourself the easier something appears to happen. I'm praying that this IUI is your last - for a positive reason.

I know it's probably nearly impossible but try not to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders or on a pregnancy. Have faith and hope that your babie(s) will choose you when they are ready and I hope they are ready to meet you this month.

Again, I know nothing about IVF and am learning about it through your blog but if you ever need encouragement or a change of subject please send me note.


Dan and Gretchen said...

Of course the offer still stands, you are more than welcome to email me anytime w/ANY questions. I'd be happy at that time to give my phone number, as a lot of it is much easier to explain via phone than via email.

You can do this!!! Knowledge is power...most of the time, but as I've said before, some of the "reading material" out there seems to do a fabulous job at scaring the daylights out of you. If I can handle it (I'm the biggest needle phob EVER), anyone can handle it :)

Saying lots of prayers for peace and comfort for you and your impending decisions :)
HUGS!!!! Gretchen231@hotmail.com

Jessica said...

Hoping this time works for you~

Tabitha said...

I don't know anything about IVF either, but it is also our next step so I'm excited to learn about it with you!

beth ewing said...

hey i've been over here a few times from Ashley at "Only God Knows When". i have no IVF experience (not there yet) but i'd love to talk about the possible adoption sometime. it's an avenue we've wanted to pursue for awhile now. berthae17@yahoo.com

RDgirl said...

Well first off I really hope this cycle works for you too! I'd love to hear that you had to cancel your IVF appointment.

That said, I won't be able to start IVF till April-May because of my job so I borrowed a book from the library "The Couples Guide to Invitro Fertilization" because I'm in the same boat as you; clueless. So far it's been pretty good. I'm only into the second chapter and they don't waste anytime getting into the details. It's about a 20 day process from Lupron to egg retrieval but tack on 30 days if you have to go on bcp before starting Lupron.

emails is:kstone187@yahoo.com