Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bad Monday

In this case, no news is bad news. The test was negative. I will NOT get my Christmas heartbeat.

I am dealing with a new emotion with this round of disappointment..guilt. I feel so guilty for letting Tom down again. Forget about my feelings. My love is suffering and I can't do a thing about it. That is the most painful feeling thus far.

I am going to process the results and try to find an ounce of hope left in my soul and go at it again.

I will update more later. I did meet with my dr. yesterday to set up a plan for the next few months...

8 comments:

Amy said...

Hi, my name is Amy. I found your blog one day through a friend of a friend etc. My husband and I are hoping for own peanut too. Your latest blog just felt all to familiar. We are going through fertility treatments too. It is hard when you do not have anybody to talk to that understands IF. Drop me a note if you want.
AKS816@cox.net

Happily Ever After said...

Erin, my heart cries for you. I'm so sorry. I wish I could say or do something to make you feel better. I will keep saying prayers for both of us. I know you will find that ounce of hope.

Tabitha said...

I am so sorry...I know how much it sucks getting a negative result from an IUI that you really thought was "the one". I'll be praying for you and your husband, and can't wait to hear your new plan when your ready to tell us all!

Ashley said...

I'm soo sorry that the test came back negative. I know how you feel...it is the worst feeling in the world. I will say a prayer for you!! We will get our babies one day...don't give up!!

Jessica said...

SOOOO sorry for you :(
Keep your head up...
I know it is easier said than done, but my thoughts are with you!

Andrea said...

I'm so sorry it didn't work. It is so unfair, no one should have to go through this. No one.

Dan and Gretchen said...

Erin,
I'm so sorry to hear your news. Keep your chin up, even though it may take EVERY fiber of your being, find that ounce of hope and keep going. I promise you, God has a plan for you...just as he did for us after 7 IUI's and IVF. Reading the pain in your posts keeps this all so fresh in my mind, and all the more grateful.
Are you still meeting with the Dr. tomorrow to discuss IVF? I've said it before and I'm serious, email me anytime if I can put your mind at ease with the whole process...it's sooooo worth every bit of time, money, and energy put forth...that much I can promise.

Stay strong, you will persevere.

Gretchen

RDgirl said...

Awe, I was hoping one of us would have good news this month. {{hugs}} Hang in there!